Merry fucking christmas!

Published December 24, 2006
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Man o' man!

You haven't lived until you've come close to death. About two hours ago I came near to a comatose state here at home. I can hear the bells, uh, uh ... nope, sorry.

For those of you that don't know I have a very unique disease called Emery Drifuss Muscular Dystrophy. It alone is a very powerful stranglehold on all muscles in the body, this includes the heart and lungs which for myself are those I have to keep a constant eye on. They can be naughty...

For Christmas my buddies whipped up a block of chocolate (AERO bars) with a special treat from the non-forest floor bed. According to the vaults of erowid I have broken one of my personal all time goals. Experienced EXTREME time dilatation.

* makes the check *

Not only that, when everything took effect I found nothing I felt ... felt. Slowly over the progression emotions were blown up and silenced. Senses crossed hugely, as things I saw were being processed directly in to words without thought. Sentences contained jangled words slapped together without frame of reference, as if my brains digital system malfunctioned so they had to dust off the old switch board.

I'm sorry sir, it will take just one second.
Sorry sir, I plugged you in to the wrong line. One moment please.
Yes, hold. Yes.. yes , I know you've been waiting. *unplug*

The worst part was when I found out that because of my rare condition, my trip as not only powerful but it came without oxygen! Taking 8 huge gasps of air every minute, personally because I couldn't feel anything anyway I wasn't sure if I was getting air. If I had stopped thinking about breathing I would have stopped completely.

What creeped me out the most was the time dilatation. Minutes took so long, or no time at all. Like somehow my video card blew a capacitor and just encountered a bottle neck, then suddenly dropped off all the frames and I was fast forwarded 5 minutes a head. How, what, hunh?

It was 4:10 for a good 30 minutes, I swear.


...

Now I'm just downstairs watching Dots Data Cafe on late night TV while typing this. Whats even more amusing is that after all this all I can think about is how the guy on Dots Data Cafe is just as pathetic as he was back when he started ...
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