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John Romero

THE EARLY YEARS

John Romero was immaculately concieved in 1968 in the back of the same Volkswagen bus he was born in 14 months later. The progeny of a Moby Grape groupie and Satan, John's young and terrified mother tried to care for the misshapen infant as best she could, but finally was forced to abandon him at the edge of the woods in Northern California.

Subsequently raised by wolves, young John spent his first 11 years without the companionship of humans or demons from the nether regions. Discovered in 1981 by marijuana growers who were seeding a decoy weed patch, John at first resisted the attempts to civilize him, but over time the hose-down punishments and shock treatments took hold, and a now adolescent John Romero began to attend high school.

John was popular in school. The other kids thought it was cool how he rolled his lunch in the dirt in the quad, and the girls liked to stroke his long glossy coat. This last was his undoing, however. A jealous boyfriend put a sign reading "comb me" on John's back, and the boy's eviscerated corpse was found the next morning. John was implicated by the long silken hairs and three-toed footprints found at the scene.

After his release from San Quentin, John began looking for a job as a computer programmer, a skill he had aquired in prison along with knowledge of what to do with a knotted towel and bacon grease. John fit into the programming scene, where physical and hygienic "differences" aren't an issue, perfectly. It wasn't long before he was drawn to the field of computer games.

THE STRUGGLE FOR ACCEPTANCE

John's first game, a side-scroller titled "Devils and Wolves Eat Your Flesh", was not a success. His next effort was another side-scroller called "Devils and Wolves Eat Your Flesh 2", and was similarly without sales.

Forced to take a job with Mattel, John created a string of moderately successful Barbie™ games: "Barbie's Hair Salon", "Barbie Gets A Perm", and "Barbie: The Search For Conditioner" all sold well. But when John tried to sell the company on "Barbie Is Eaten By Devils and Wolves", they fired him in disgust.

Angry and depressed, John went on a killing rampage, and terrorized the city of Oxnard for six weeks until he was shot with a tranquilizer gun and released in Yellowstone National Park. Yellowstone was a good experience for John. The daily struggle for survival calmed his frayed nerves, and the yearly grizzly rut was always something to look forward to. But no matter how good the sows smelled on the morning breeze, the games occupied his mind. One day the idea that would make mindless killing and slaughter acceptable came to him: Nazis. Everybody thinks it's okay to kill Nazis.

THE LONG VOYAGE BACK

John left the Park and moved to Texas. His first new game "Devils and Wolves Eat Nazi Flesh", sold a few copies - enough to keep him in Alpo and floppy disks. "Devils and Wolves Rip Nazis Apart" and "Devils and Wolves Rip Nazis Apart: The Return" soon followed, but though there were sales, it wasn't even enough to cover the monthly flea dip and toenail clipping service.

Something was missing. Maybe it was the pacing. But "Devils and Wolves Rip Nazis Apart in Slow Motion" was the worst seller of the series. Maybe if he toned-down the violence: "Devils and Wolves Sometimes Rip Nazis Apart, Sometimes They Don't" didn't go over either.

It was on one of his nightly hunts for fresh meat in the poorer neighborhoods around Dallas that the chance meeting ocurred. As John was using his talons to slice the liver from his victim, he noticed the victim's companion hadn't run screaming into the night, the way they usually did. In fact, the bespectacled young man watched in earnest and mumbled "Wow - that would look bitchin' in 3D!"

The victim's friend was of course John Carmack, and in that chance moment a partnership was formed that would change gaming history forever. Because if John Romero hadn't first joined, and then left id Software, we wouldn't have "Quake 3 Team Arena" today. We'd have "Daikatana Team Arena" - and wouldn't that suck?

http://www.google.nl/search?q=cache:DtX5xU_9KfQC:www.gracelessland.com/CGI-BIN/g2000.exe/bio%3Fbio_romero.txt+%22John+Carmack%22+biography&hl=nl&ie=UTF-8
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[edited by - Divide on July 23, 2002 2:18:16 PM]

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