The problems with Diablo 3's story are myriad. Its very one dimensional, you can predict the entire story from Act I onward. There is little to no subtlety, with them spelling out every bad guy's inner thoughts in their dialog. Plus there are some rather large gaping plot holes. This pretty much sums up the entire story in a hillarious manner (deleted by Blizzard).
This wouldn't be so bad if Diablo 3 wasn't about the story. HOWEVER, when you read the interviews with the game designers, or see their replies on the forums, you quickly see that... in their eyes... Diablo 3 is about the story. Hence why there's no "Skip Boring Cut-scene" check box in the options dialog. Forcing you to manually escape those annoying boss cut-scenes.
Spoiler
VILLAGERS: OMG THE UNDEAD ARE RISING
LEAH: ITS JUST UNCLE DECKARDS CRAZY STORIES
*VILLAGER GETS HEAD EATEN OFF
LEAH: AGAIN, JUST STORIES, I ASSURE YOU
*NAKED OUT OF PLACE WITCH DOCTOR SHOWS UP
LEAH: I TOTALLY TRUST YOU COMPLETELY, LETS GO FIND UNCLE DECKARD
LEAH: LOOK THERE HE IS, FELL DOWN 100 FEET OR SO BUT HES FINE
*EVERYONE GOES BACK TO TOWN
DECKARD CAIN: RANDOM WITCH DOCTOR, GO KILL THE SKELETON KING, HE RESURRECTED JUST BECAUSE THIS ENTIRE ACT IS A DIABLO 1997 REFERENCE
WITCH DOCTOR: K
*WITCH DOCTOR KILLS SKELETON KING AND FINDS A NAKED BLACK MAN
WITCH DOCTOR: YO DECKARD, I FOUND THIS NAKED BLACK DUDE
DECKARD CAIN: K GO FIND HIS SWORD PIECES
WITCH DOCTOR: Y????
DECKARD CAIN: DUNNO LMAO, JUST A GUESS
*MAGDA SHOWS UP
MAGDA: I COME FROM WORLD OF WARCRAFT TO DESTROY U
WITCH DOCTOR: K LMAO ALREADY GOT THE SWORD PIECES
MAGDA: DAMN!!!!! ILL JUST GO STEAL THAT NAKED BLACK DUDE AND PROLONG THIS ACT FOR NO REASON
*SHOOTS FIRE AT CAIN, STEALS BLACK MAN
LEAH: STORIES KILLED MY UNCLE!!!!!!!!!
WITCH DOCTOR: PRETTY SURE MAGDA DID, NUB
*WITCH DOCTOR RUNS TO SAVE BLACK MAN
WITCH DOCTOR: OMG THE BUTCHER, ANOTHER POINTLESS RESURRECTION OF A 1997 DIABLO CHARACTER WITH NO EXPLANATION
BUTCHER: AH FRESH MEAT!!!!!!!!!!!
*BUTCHER DIES, BLACK MAN SAVED
TYRAEL: YO HERE I AM FOOL
WITCH DOCTOR: WHY U BLACK NOW DOG?
TYRAEL: TOKEN BLACK ANGEL LMAOOOOO
*GOES TO ACT 2
VILLAGERS: OMG THE PRINCE SENT ALL THE GUARDS AWAY
WITCH DOCTOR: HE MUST BE BELIAL IN DISGUISE
LEAH: NO, NO WAY, LET'S GO ON A POINTLESS QUEST TO DO A BUNCH OF CRAP DESPITE THE FACT THAT WE ALREADY KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.
ADRIA: HEY DAUGHTER SUP
LEAH: OH HEY MOMS, JUST MORE STORIES TEEHEE
ADRIA: WE MUST GET THE BLACK SOULSTONE USING THIS OLD HORADRIM DUDE THAT CREATED IT
WITCH DOCTOR: K
*WITCH DOCTOR RECOVERS THE SOULSTONE:
WITCH DOCTOR: WAIT, HOW DID THE SOULS OF THE OTHER 5 DEMONS GET IN HERE ALREADY?
ADRIA: DON'T WORRY BOUT IT DOG... CHRIS METZEN
WITCH DOCTOR: GOT IT!
BELIAL: I AM THE WORST LIAR EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRR
WITCH DOCTOR: WE KNOW
*CAPTURES SOUL
*GOES TO ACT 3
AZMODAN: YO DAWG, ATTACKING UR RAMPARTS
WITCH DOCTOR: THANKS FOR THE LEAD BRO
AZMODAN: HEY NP DAWG, ATTACKING UNDERNEATH NOW
WITCH DOCTOR: HEY DUDE THANKS AGAIN, COULDNT HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT U
AZMODAN: ANYTIME, HEY COME TO MY PLACE SO WE CAN SMOKE SOME BLOW
*WITCH DOCTOR GOES TO THE HEART OF SIN
WITCH DOCTOR: YO I BROUGHT THE WEED
AZMODAN: SWEET DAWG, BEING A WARLORD IS TOUGH
WITCH DOCTOR: JK LMAO, GOT UR SOUL
*GOES BACK TO BASE
WITCH DOCTOR: OMG LEAH IS THE PRIIIIIIME EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!
ADRIA: YEA PLANNED THIS 20 YEARS AGO DOG
WITCH DOCTOR: BUT, AGAIN, HOW DID U GET ALL THE SOULS IN HERE IF YOU JUST NOW GOT THE BLACK SOULSTONE?
ADRIA: CHRIST METZEN
WITCH DOCTOR: GOTCHA!!!!!!!!!
*GOES TO ACT 4
DIABLO: WELCOME TO MY REALM OF TEAR-OR!!!!!!!!! I AM THE PRIME EEEEVILLLLL
WITCH DOCTOR: WHY DON'T YOU LOOK LIKE A COMBINATION OF ALL THE EVILS THEN???
DIABLO: I DUNNO... ASK CHRIS METZEN
WITCH DOCTOR: K
DIABLO: CAN YOU TELL I'M A GIRL THIS GAME??? I CAN'T STOP TALKINGGGGGGG
DIABLO: LOOK TYRAEL, UR OWN LIEUTENANT
TYRAEL: WAIT, HOW DID IZUAL COME BACK?
DIABLO: CHRIS METZEN MADE IT HAPPENNNNNNNNNN
IZUAL: I AM BACK FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASONNNNNNN
*IZUAL DIES
DIABLO: HE WAS USELESS ANYWAY, COEM KILL MEEEEE
*WITCH DOCTOR ENTERS REALM OF TERROR
DIABLO: WELCOME TO MY REALM OF TEAR-ORRRRRR, NO ONE HAS EVER ESCAPED
*DIABLO DIES
TYRAEL: WE DID IT BOYS... ANGELS.... AND MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!
#2Washu
Posted 13 June 2012 - 01:30 PM
The problems with Diablo 3's story are myriad. Its very one dimensional, you can predict the entire story from Act I onward. There is little to no subtlety, with them spelling out every bad guy's inner thoughts in their dialog. Plus there are some rather large gaping plot holes. This pretty much sums up the entire story in a hillarious manner (deleted by Blizzard).
This wouldn't be so bad if Diablo 3 wasn't about the story. HOWEVER, when you read the interviews with the game designers, or see their replies on the forums, you quickly see that... in their eyes... Diablo 3 is about the story. Hence why there's no "Skip Boring Cut-scene" check box in the options dialog. Forcing you to manually escape those annoying boss cut-scenes.
Spoiler
VILLAGERS: OMG THE UNDEAD ARE RISING LEAH: ITS JUST UNCLE DECKARDS CRAZY STORIES *VILLAGER GETS HEAD EATEN OFF LEAH: AGAIN, JUST STORIES, I ASSURE YOU *NAKED OUT OF PLACE WITCH DOCTOR SHOWS UP LEAH: I TOTALLY TRUST YOU COMPLETELY, LETS GO FIND UNCLE DECKARD LEAH: LOOK THERE HE IS, FELL DOWN 100 FEET OR SO BUT HES FINE *EVERYONE GOES BACK TO TOWN DECKARD CAIN: RANDOM WITCH DOCTOR, GO KILL THE SKELETON KING, HE RESURRECTED JUST BECAUSE THIS ENTIRE ACT IS A DIABLO 1997 REFERENCE WITCH DOCTOR: K *WITCH DOCTOR KILLS SKELETON KING AND FINDS A NAKED BLACK MAN WITCH DOCTOR: YO DECKARD, I FOUND THIS NAKED BLACK DUDE DECKARD CAIN: K GO FIND HIS SWORD PIECES WITCH DOCTOR: Y???? DECKARD CAIN: DUNNO LMAO, JUST A GUESS *MAGDA SHOWS UP MAGDA: I COME FROM WORLD OF WARCRAFT TO DESTROY U WITCH DOCTOR: K LMAO ALREADY GOT THE SWORD PIECES MAGDA: DAMN!!!!! ILL JUST GO STEAL THAT NAKED BLACK DUDE AND PROLONG THIS ACT FOR NO REASON *SHOOTS FIRE AT CAIN, STEALS BLACK MAN LEAH: STORIES KILLED MY UNCLE!!!!!!!!! WITCH DOCTOR: PRETTY SURE MAGDA DID, NUB *WITCH DOCTOR RUNS TO SAVE BLACK MAN WITCH DOCTOR: OMG THE BUTCHER, ANOTHER POINTLESS RESURRECTION OF A 1997 DIABLO CHARACTER WITH NO EXPLANATION BUTCHER: AH FRESH MEAT!!!!!!!!!!! *BUTCHER DIES, BLACK MAN SAVED TYRAEL: YO HERE I AM FOOL WITCH DOCTOR: WHY U BLACK NOW DOG? TYRAEL: TOKEN BLACK ANGEL LMAOOOOO *GOES TO ACT 2 VILLAGERS: OMG THE PRINCE SENT ALL THE GUARDS AWAY WITCH DOCTOR: HE MUST BE BELIAL IN DISGUISE LEAH: NO, NO WAY, LET'S GO ON A POINTLESS QUEST TO DO A BUNCH OF CRAP DESPITE THE FACT THAT WE ALREADY KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. ADRIA: HEY DAUGHTER SUP LEAH: OH HEY MOMS, JUST MORE STORIES TEEHEE ADRIA: WE MUST GET THE BLACK SOULSTONE USING THIS OLD HORADRIM DUDE THAT CREATED IT WITCH DOCTOR: K *WITCH DOCTOR RECOVERS THE SOULSTONE: WITCH DOCTOR: WAIT, HOW DID THE SOULS OF THE OTHER 5 DEMONS GET IN HERE ALREADY? ADRIA: DON'T WORRY BOUT IT DOG... CHRIS METZEN WITCH DOCTOR: GOT IT! BELIAL: I AM THE WORST LIAR EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRR WITCH DOCTOR: WE KNOW *CAPTURES SOUL *GOES TO ACT 3 AZMODAN: YO DAWG, ATTACKING UR RAMPARTS WITCH DOCTOR: THANKS FOR THE LEAD BRO AZMODAN: HEY NP DAWG, ATTACKING UNDERNEATH NOW WITCH DOCTOR: HEY DUDE THANKS AGAIN, COULDNT HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT U AZMODAN: ANYTIME, HEY COME TO MY PLACE SO WE CAN SMOKE SOME BLOW *WITCH DOCTOR GOES TO THE HEART OF SIN WITCH DOCTOR: YO I BROUGHT THE WEED AZMODAN: SWEET DAWG, BEING A WARLORD IS TOUGH WITCH DOCTOR: JK LMAO, GOT UR SOUL *GOES BACK TO BASE WITCH DOCTOR: OMG LEAH IS THE PRIIIIIIME EVIL!!!!!!!!!!! ADRIA: YEA PLANNED THIS 20 YEARS AGO DOG WITCH DOCTOR: BUT, AGAIN, HOW DID U GET ALL THE SOULS IN HERE IF YOU JUST NOW GOT THE BLACK SOULSTONE? ADRIA: CHRIST METZEN WITCH DOCTOR: GOTCHA!!!!!!!!! *GOES TO ACT 4 DIABLO: WELCOME TO MY REALM OF TEAR-OR!!!!!!!!! I AM THE PRIME EEEEVILLLLL WITCH DOCTOR: WHY DON'T YOU LOOK LIKE A COMBINATION OF ALL THE EVILS THEN??? DIABLO: I DUNNO... ASK CHRIS METZEN WITCH DOCTOR: K DIABLO: CAN YOU TELL I'M A GIRL THIS GAME??? I CAN'T STOP TALKINGGGGGGG DIABLO: LOOK TYRAEL, UR OWN LIEUTENANT TYRAEL: WAIT, HOW DID IZUAL COME BACK? DIABLO: CHRIS METZEN MADE IT HAPPENNNNNNNNNN IZUAL: I AM BACK FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASONNNNNNN *IZUAL DIES DIABLO: HE WAS USELESS ANYWAY, COEM KILL MEEEEE *WITCH DOCTOR ENTERS REALM OF TERROR DIABLO: WELCOME TO MY REALM OF TEAR-ORRRRRR, NO ONE HAS EVER ESCAPED *DIABLO DIES TYRAEL: WE DID IT BOYS... ANGELS.... AND MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!
#1Washu
Posted 08 June 2012 - 12:10 PM
The problems with Diablo 3's story are myriad. Its very one dimensional, you can predict the entire story from Act I onward. There is little to no subtlety, with them spelling out every bad guy's inner thoughts in their dialog. Plus there are some rather large gaping plot holes. This pretty much sums up the entire story in a hillarious manner (deleted by Blizzard).
This wouldn't be so bad if Diablo 3 wasn't about the story. HOWEVER, when you read the interviews with the game designers, or see their replies on the forums, you quickly see that... in their eyes... Diablo 3 is about the story. Hence why there's no "Skip Boring Cut-scene" check box in the options dialog. Forcing you to manually escape those annoying boss cut-scenes.