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#ActualShiftyCake

Posted 11 November 2012 - 05:46 PM

Had a look, and I've already seen a huge hole in your goal. Before that though, enlargen your words (they were really annoying to read).
Now, your goal, as such, is to "prove yourself innocent" after you have "permanently rid yourself of your pursuer". By ridding yourself of your pursuer, you just made it impossible to prove your innocence, for the creature you have been claiming that's doing all these terrible things is in fact no more. There is simply no way to rid yourself of your crimes.
So therefore, we can change the goal, and the multiple endings. Here's my theory of what they should be.

Goal: The Ultimate goal is to find a way to capture the beast, and then choose either a way to permanently rid yourself of the beast or to make the best visible to your persecuters.

Multiple Endings: If you chose permanently ridding yourself of the beast, then the ending will be chosen through how much bounty you have accumulated.
If you chose to make the beat visible, then the story will be prolonged ass the villagers help you find a way to rid the beast permanently, and will end when you have done so, the ending being dependable on how well you have integrated yourself into the community and made "friends" as such.

Maybe you can display it as reputation. So when you have a bounty on your head, your reputation will be in the negative and it will keep decreasing the more bounty on your head. If you have cleared your name, your reputation will be 0 and will increase as you help villagers etc.

And you have how the beast attacks all wrong, as I like to think. You should picture the beast not as personally going for you, but instead as having some sort of "attachment" as such to you from his 'realm" (as in, maybe he is not of this world) and so can only escape his realm by being drawn to you. This might be why he can never be killed, because he always just goes back to his realm. You can also have it as the way to forever get rid of him by severing his ties to you.

So the beast should have a drive to kill humans. For whatever reason, it is something he likes or needs to do. So, with this in mind, you should do something like a "poke" for the beasts attacking methods. This is where the more villagers that accumulate, the more chance that he will sense these villagers as such (through the ties with you). So when he senses the villagers (make it a randomized chance, more chance the more villagers there are), he will "poke" as such out of the realm. The only way to prevent him from attacking the villagers, would be for you to hide yourself from them. Or, it's possible, that maybe he uses your eyes to look through the realm. That way, if you cover your eyes, then it won't happen. But their should be skill involved. Say you can't cover your eyes for more then two seconds because you are running from the villagers or something, and only a small ominous sound signify's he's about to "poke" out of his realm.

And instead of villagers "randomly remembering you". You should make it so that as more and more instances of it happening, with you being their at the site, they start to connect the dots. They don't know whether its directly involved with you, but when you're around people die and villagers burn, so they attack you out of their wish to protect the villagers and etc.
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that's just my two-bits from what you said. You can pick and choose what you wish to take out of this.EDIT #1: I just had a thought, but maybe the beast gains power from killing humans. So, as more and more humans are killed, he gains more and more power. This could create another alternate ending, where the beast himself wins by gaining enough power to enter the human realm without needing you. And lastly, the beast cannot attack you before that because he can't survive without you (so now you have a reason for the beast not attacking).

#1ShiftyCake

Posted 11 November 2012 - 05:42 PM

Had a look, and I've already seen a huge hole in your goal. Before that though, enlargen your words (they were really annoying to read).
Now, your goal, as such, is to "prove yourself innocent" after you have "permanently rid yourself of your pursuer". By ridding yourself of your pursuer, you just made it impossible to prove your innocence, for the creature you have been claiming that's doing all these terrible things is in fact no more. There is simply no way to rid yourself of your crimes.
So therefore, we can change the goal, and the multiple endings. Here's my theory of what they should be.

Goal: The Ultimate goal is to find a way to capture the beast, and then choose either a way to permanently rid yourself of the beast or to make the best visible to your persecuters.

Multiple Endings: If you chose permanently ridding yourself of the beast, then the ending will be chosen through how much bounty you have accumulated.
If you chose to make the beat visible, then the story will be prolonged ass the villagers help you find a way to rid the beast permanently, and will end when you have done so, the ending being dependable on how well you have integrated yourself into the community and made "friends" as such.

Maybe you can display it as reputation. So when you have a bounty on your head, your reputation will be in the negative and it will keep decreasing the more bounty on your head. If you have cleared your name, your reputation will be 0 and will increase as you help villagers etc.

And you have how the beast attacks all wrong, as I like to think. You should picture the beast not as personally going for you, but instead as having some sort of "attachment" as such to you from his 'realm" (as in, maybe he is not of this world) and so can only escape his realm by being drawn to you. This might be why he can never be killed, because he always just goes back to his realm. You can also have it as the way to forever get rid of him by severing his ties to you.

So the beast should have a drive to kill humans. For whatever reason, it is something he likes or needs to do. So, with this in mind, you should do something like a "poke" for the beasts attacking methods. This is where the more villagers that accumulate, the more chance that he will sense these villagers as such (through the ties with you). So when he senses the villagers (make it a randomized chance, more chance the more villagers there are), he will "poke" as such out of the realm. The only way to prevent him from attacking the villagers, would be for you to hide yourself from them. Or, it's possible, that maybe he uses your eyes to look through the realm. That way, if you cover your eyes, then it won't happen. But their should be skill involved. Say you can't cover your eyes for more then two seconds because you are running from the villagers or something, and only a small ominous sound signify's he's about to "poke" out of his realm.

And instead of villagers "randomly remembering you". You should make it so that as more and more instances of it happening, with you being their at the site, they start to connect the dots. They don't know whether its directly involved with you, but when you're around people die and villagers burn, so they attack you out of their wish to protect the villagers and etc.
---
that's just my two-bits from what you said. You can pick and choose what you wish to take out of this.

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