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#Actualhpdvs2

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:33 AM

I get that it is a rough idea, but I don't feel like it really solidified the concept.  It felt like this was made up as it went to a certain amount, and not based off of organizing prior thoughts.  

 

The main objective each round is to destroy the opposing players HQ using a combination of your army and the Titans raised from the elements.

  This was the first sentence of your last paragraph.  It helps to clarify a lot, but it wasn't said at the top  Typically the first few paragraphs should help to express the rest of the core concepts that will be discussed.  It will help the reader maintain a sense of continuity and absorb more.


#1hpdvs2

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:33 AM

I get that it is a rough idea, but I don't feel like it really solidified the concept.  It felt like this was made up as it went to a certain amount, and not based off of organizing prior thoughts.  

 

The main objective each round is to destroy the opposing players HQ using a combination of your army and the Titans raised from the elements.

  This was the first sentence of your last paragraph.  It helps to clarify a lot, but it wasn't said at the top  Typically the first few paragraphs should help to express the rest of the core concepts that will be discussed.  It will help the reader maintain a sense of continuity and absorb more.


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