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#ActualAspireAN

Posted 12 February 2013 - 02:26 PM

Player requests to see the outside world and find answers to


why the world as we knew it had ended.


Players sees world as it is and his resolve is strengthened –


to find answers.


Scene 5: (The player proceeds down the street)

 

There's a problem with how you discuss player actions. You describe them as scripted, not interactive.  You cannot dictate the player's actions and emotional states.

 

Player's possible actions: examine newspaper, open drawer, open door, open blinds, pick up blaster.  Opening door takes player to the street.

Goal for this scene: find answers.

In the street the player can explore the following: dumpster, wrecked house, parking garage, parked aircar, intact house, restaurant with smashed front window.  Exploring aircar permits player to take off and fly.

 

See, a game is not like a movie.  It's interactive. You have to describe it that way.

Awesome advice! Thanks for stating that so clearly. I will edit the scenes with that in mind so that I am not describing it as if it was a fully-scripted event. 

 

 

Here is the new format I will try using. Let me know if this makes more sense and is more professional and explanatory. I will edit the original post when I've got the new scene format finished.

 

 

Scene "#" (NAME)


Characters:

Items of Interest (IOI): Journal

Puzzles: None

Hidden Object Games: None


Goal:


Possible actions:

 

Notes:


#2AspireAN

Posted 12 February 2013 - 12:14 PM

Player requests to see the outside world and find answers to


why the world as we knew it had ended.


Players sees world as it is and his resolve is strengthened –


to find answers.


Scene 5: (The player proceeds down the street)

 

There's a problem with how you discuss player actions. You describe them as scripted, not interactive.  You cannot dictate the player's actions and emotional states.

 

Player's possible actions: examine newspaper, open drawer, open door, open blinds, pick up blaster.  Opening door takes player to the street.

Goal for this scene: find answers.

In the street the player can explore the following: dumpster, wrecked house, parking garage, parked aircar, intact house, restaurant with smashed front window.  Exploring aircar permits player to take off and fly.

 

See, a game is not like a movie.  It's interactive. You have to describe it that way.

Awesome advice! Thanks for stating that so clearly. I will edit the scenes with that in mind so that I am not describing it as if it was a fully-scripted event. 

 

 

Here is the new format I will try using. Let me know if this makes more sense and is more professional and explanatory. I will edit the original post when I've got the new scene format finished.

 

 

Scene 1 (INTRO)


Characters: Assumed to be “The Player, Duffy, and Ziggy in every scene,
until otherwise noted.


Items of Interest (IOI): Journal


Puzzles: None


Hidden Object Games: None


Goal:


-The player meets Ziggy and Duffy after waking from hyper-sleep.


Possible actions:


-Player can collect IOI journal

-Player can continue onto the next section
 

Notes:

 

-A journal can be collected next to a skeleton in a broken hyper-space
pod. The journal reads;


“Something's trying to break in: I’ve got no clue what it is. But I heard it coming, so I ran in here.The door
seems sturdy enough, but there’s no food or water in here. I’m trapped, and the
only way out seems to be to sleep through this nightmare. The sign on the wall
says ‘stasis’, and there are a couple people in these pods. It all seems
remarkably straightforward, but I still pray that I am calibrating my pod
correctly. I don’t want to die.


#1AspireAN

Posted 12 February 2013 - 11:50 AM

Player requests to see the outside world and find answers to


why the world as we knew it had ended.


Players sees world as it is and his resolve is strengthened –


to find answers.


Scene 5: (The player proceeds down the street)

 

There's a problem with how you discuss player actions. You describe them as scripted, not interactive.  You cannot dictate the player's actions and emotional states.

 

Player's possible actions: examine newspaper, open drawer, open door, open blinds, pick up blaster.  Opening door takes player to the street.

Goal for this scene: find answers.

In the street the player can explore the following: dumpster, wrecked house, parking garage, parked aircar, intact house, restaurant with smashed front window.  Exploring aircar permits player to take off and fly.

 

See, a game is not like a movie.  It's interactive. You have to describe it that way.

Awesome advice! Thanks for stating that so clearly. I will edit the scenes with that in mind so that I am not describing it as if it was a fully-scripted event. 


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