Jump to content

  • Log In with Google      Sign In   
  • Create Account

FREE SOFTWARE GIVEAWAY

We have 4 x Pro Licences (valued at $59 each) for 2d modular animation software Spriter to give away in this Thursday's GDNet Direct email newsletter.


Read more in this forum topic or make sure you're signed up (from the right-hand sidebar on the homepage) and read Thursday's newsletter to get in the running!


#ActualJeremy Williams

Posted 02 May 2013 - 09:41 PM

Interesting, very detailed (I can't read the whole thing all the through, at work). Here are my nit-picks:

  • Japan invades the US? You should explain Japan's different trajectory a little more, since that's pretty implausible unless something big changed within Japan after WWII. In general, I think you need to give a little more story justification for Japan playing such a big role in post-war events.

Well, the destruction of so much of the US fleet in the sabotage allowed them to make their surrender (which was going to happen anyway) a bit more conditional. The atomic bombing still changed their public consciousness and culture, but they managed to retain their military might and avoid US occupation. Between these two things, they managed to rebuild their economy much faster and restore their naval power. Add on the massive shock of 160,000 lives taken in one day, and Japan was now morally conscious with a good reason to be angry. So after give decades of cooling off what we have is a morally conscious naval power that has been nuked in the past and hates the bomb with a flaming passion. Not much of a stretch that they'd take action when the US subjects Europe to nuclear bombardment and tried to leave without fixing any of it.

  • Where is China during all of this? Seems like they're a pretty force you're kind of leaving out

1940:

Getting its ass handed to it by Japan.

 

1950:

Still not getting any oceanic trade, out of fear of Japan. The rest of its trade is limited due to China's natural barriers.

 

1960:

Finally stops being scared by a country that's been leaving it alone for 15 years. However, at this point it is allied with the USSR and is acting as its mule to get things down to the Indochina peninsula without trying to sneak it past Japan.

 

1970:

Starting to get irritated and refuses to carry goods for the USSR's supply effort. Still allows the USSR to do it their own damn selves, though. At this point, China establishes trade with Japan... and gets the short end of the stick. (There's your answer, really.)

 

1980:

China opens up to allow other countries to outsource work to it, but as China is still "red" and the cold war is still blazing onwards the US doesn't bite. (There's the second half of it.) Instead, the US turns to the pacific islands. Japan has more presence there than they do, but this is only apparent after the fact when it turns out that some 25% of local taxes are going to Japan. Once this becomes apparent the US... doesn't care. Really, they don't care. Why would they? Japan is still their ally, and it's not a big enough deal to comment and risk an incident.

 

1990:

China is now acting as the main component of the industrial base for the USSR, rather than a credible military force. The reason for this is every time they launch a naval vessel, Japan sails a couple bigger ones by it and gives them a fireworks display. (I mean that literally. It's still an implied threat.) When the US pushes the USSR out of Europe and they dissolve, China remains an ally of the USSR and keeps making arms for them.

 

2000:

China is still making arms, but its military power is limited. By the time the US is having its schism, China is taking advantage of Japan's lack of attention to restore its navy and establish a few better trade routes.

 

2005:

Japan takes notice and lets out a laugh. (Publicly. Privately, they're running analysis and getting enough naval power ready to prevent China from doing anything if it gets hostile.)

 

2010:

China realises Japan is a step ahead of it, but does not change its plans.

 

2015:

China moves to support Russia when the RN goes to war with the CB, while also trying to defend itself against Japan's still vastly superior naval power.

 

That answer your question?

 

  • I think you need to give a little more justification for the intensified anti-Japan racism thing throughout. In real WWII, the US was pretty racist, but not that racist.

The testimony of the truly ancient individuals I know who were actually present says otherwise. That the US really did appropriate a "Kill 'em all" attitude during this time.

  • The US nuclear program dying in a week is a little implausible, there were thousands upon thousands involved at different locations. I think sabotage, like blowing up Los Alamos before the bombs were actually deployed, would delay nuclear development more realistically.

How a military analyst could do it is a bit further off. I'm keeping this part of the backstory secret for a reason.

  • Plus you could always focus the evil-ness of the US on the conventional bombing, which did more damage to Japan anyway.

I'm aware. Also, I'm not sure incendiary weapons count as "conventional." The issue is it doesn't grab an audience properly, and it wouldn't grab the interest of Hofstadter the way nuclear weapon development did.

I'm also kind of fuzzy on what your character's power is, or rather, how it manifests itself. You talk of them taking over areas of the globe, but don't really detail if it's through civil corporations, military power, combinations thereof, etc.

Depends on which. Benjamin Caige is an aerospace engineer and a business magnate. He's comparable to Howard Hughes in power, and his role had always been in the development and manufacture of aircraft. He bailed before anything big happened, though. Hofstadter was mostly intel for them, but he was also wealthy and military connections that knew how to keep their mouth shut. Abraham (later Hagar and Isaac) Hobbes are owners of a military-contracted arms manufacturing plant. This is also a major manufacturer of machine parts as it bought out Caige Mechanics and Aviation when Benjamin vanished. Mostly, it just handled exporting weapons and machinery to their locations. Williams is an oil baron, he had a lot of fuel and capitol which he generously provided. Winthrop, as a politician, set up their public face and their appeals to the people. He also advised them on what services they should provide to win over the people, and which would be insulting or a waste of time. Most of their takeover was economic and amounted to grabbing and holding resources with the military power the Hobbes provided, with the rest being social as they set up public services such as hospitals and markets with advertising campaigns designed by Winthrop. Williams, of course, provided the fuel, created their power plants and tanked the oil around.

 

That explain it?


#1Jeremy Williams

Posted 02 May 2013 - 09:41 PM

Interesting, very detailed (I can't read the whole thing all the through, at work). Here are my nit-picks:

  • Japan invades the US? You should explain Japan's different trajectory a little more, since that's pretty implausible unless something big changed within Japan after WWII. In general, I think you need to give a little more story justification for Japan playing such a big role in post-war events.

Well, the destruction of so much of the US fleet in the sabotage allowed them to make their surrender (which was going to happen anyway) a bit more conditional. The atomic bombing still changed their public consciousness and culture, but they managed to retain their military might and avoid US occupation. Between these two things, they managed to rebuild their economy much faster and restore their naval power. Add on the massive shock of 160,000 lives taken in one day, and Japan was now morally conscious with a good reason to be angry. So after give decades of cooling off what we have is a morally conscious naval power that has been nuked in the past and hates the bomb with a flaming passion. Not much of a stretch that they'd take action when the US subjects Europe to nuclear bombardment and tried to leave without fixing any of it.

  • Where is China during all of this? Seems like they're a pretty force you're kind of leaving out

1940:

Getting its ass handed to it by Japan.

 

1950:

Still not getting any oceanic trade, out of fear of Japan. The rest of its trade is limited due to China's natural barriers.

 

1960:

Finally stops being scared by a country that's been leaving it alone for 15 years. However, at this point it is allied with the USSR and is acting as its mule to get things down to the Indochina peninsula without trying to sneak it past Japan.

 

1970:

Starting to get irritated and refuses to carry goods for the USSR's supply effort. Still allows the USSR to do it their own damn selves, though. At this point, China establishes trade with Japan... and gets the short end of the stick. (There's your answer, really.)

 

1980:

China opens up to allow other countries to outsource work to it, but as China is still "red" and the cold war is still blazing onwards the US doesn't bite. (There's the second half of it.) Instead, the US turns to the pacific islands. Japan has more presence there than they do, but this is only apparent after the fact when it turns out that some 25% of local taxes are going to Japan. Once this becomes apparent the US... doesn't care. Really, they don't care. Why would they? Japan is still their ally, and it's not a big enough deal to comment and risk an incident.

 

1990:

China is now acting as the main component of the industrial base for the USSR, rather than a credible military force. The reason for this is every time they launch a naval vessel, Japan sails a couple bigger ones by it and gives them a fireworks display. (I mean that literally. It's still an implied threat.) When the US pushes the USSR out of Europe and they dissolve, China remains an ally of the USSR and keeps making arms for them.

 

2000:

China is still making arms, but its military power is limited. By the time the US is having its schism, China is taking advantage of Japan's lack of attention to restore its navy and establish a few better trade routes.

 

2005:

Japan takes notice and lets out a laugh. (Publicly. Privately, they're running analysis and getting enough naval power ready to prevent China from doing anything if it gets hostile.)

 

2010:

China realises Japan is a step ahead of it, but does not change its plans.

 

2015:

China moves to support Russia when the RN goes to war with the CB, while also trying to defend itself against Japan's still vastly superior naval power.

 

That answer your question?

 

  • I think you need to give a little more justification for the intensified anti-Japan racism thing throughout. In real WWII, the US was pretty racist, but not that racist.

The testimony of the truly ancient individuals I know who were actually present says otherwise. That the US really did appropriate a "Kill 'em all" attitude during this time.

  • The US nuclear program dying in a week is a little implausible, there were thousands upon thousands involved at different locations. I think sabotage, like blowing up Los Alamos before the bombs were actually deployed, would delay nuclear development more realistically.

How a military analyst could do it is a bit further off. I'm keeping this part of the backstory secret for a reason.

  • Plus you could always focus the evil-ness of the US on the conventional bombing, which did more damage to Japan anyway.

I'm aware. Also, I'm not sure incendiary weapons count as "conventional." The issue is it doesn't grab an audience properly, and it wouldn't grab the interest of Hofstadter the way nuclear weapon development did.

I'm also kind of fuzzy on what your character's power is, or rather, how it manifests itself. You talk of them taking over areas of the globe, but don't really detail if it's through civil corporations, military power, combinations thereof, etc.

Depends on which. Benjamin Caige is an aerospace engineer and a business magnate. He's comparable to Howard Hughes in power, and his role had always been in the development and manufacture of aircraft. He bailed before anything big happened, though. Hofstadter was mostly intel for them, but he was also wealthy and military connections that knew how to keep their mouth shut. Abraham (later Hagar and Isaac) Hobbes are owners of a military-contracted arms manufacturing plant. This is also a major manufacturer of machine parts as it bought out Caige Mechanics and Aviation when Benjamin vanished. Mostly, it just handled exporting weapons and machinery to their locations. Williams is an oil baron, he had a lot of fuel and capitol which he generously provided. Winthrop, as a politician, set up their public face and their appeals to the people. He also advised them on what services they should provide to win over the people, and which would be insulting or a waste of time. Most of their takeover was economic and amounted to grabbing and holding resources with the military power the Hobbes provided, with the rest being social as they set up public services such as hospitals and markets with advertising campaigns designed by Winthrop. Williams, of course, provided the fuel, created their power plants and tanked the oil around.


PARTNERS