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#ActualStormynature

Posted 15 July 2013 - 08:59 AM

So earlier this evening I was talking with a gentlemen who basically made me realise that despite having been on this site for 18 months or so I have never really posted a piece of my writing which got me to thinking that I hadn't really seen many other's writings either. So here is the thread to do so. Throw a small sample in...it doesn't need to be complete, it can be on any subject but it should be sufficiently large enough to give a taste of your style. Think of it as a way to demonstrate your ability and advertise yourself in a public forum filled with people ready to cut you to shreds on the smallest typo. By way of demonstration here is an opening of mine to a piece I am currently working on 

 

 

THE DRAGON'S SCALE

 

In the hours of loneliest night

I set down these words by the lamp’s light

For I wish to record a most wonderful tale

Of a prince and a princess and the dragon’s scale

 

It all began on a cold winter’s night

When a little village awoke in fright

At the horrible sound of some beast’s roar

Then all fell silent and they slept once more

 

It wasn’t till dawn when they found they horse

Half eaten up that they knew the source

The manner of beast which in the night did wail

For lying on the ground was a dragon’s scale

 

It was large as a cartwheel and made of gold

And when it was lifted took three men to hold

Laughter broke out and they all capered around

But amidst the excitement an old man frowned

 

Stop this foolishness the man cried to the crowd

Waiting for silence before speaking out loud

‘Tis an evil gift evil indeed

For dragon’s gold fills a heart with greed

 

You all know the legends and what they tell

Look not at the gold or deeper the spell

We must take it away before we are lost

And only evil into our hearts has crossed

 

I fear not this spell spoke a stranger from the side

I fear nothing at all ‘cept my soon-to-be bride

And if you allow me I would buy your scale

For it pleases me with its yellow so pale

 

The crowd turned as the stranger’s voice spoke

And saw a young man in threadbare cloak

Who are you asked the old man his eyes ablaze

That treads forward a fool where a wise man stays

 

Who am I you ask in a voice that demands

Why I’m Prince Kiranon from far distant lands

Searching the world for the one I’ll marry

Going on where a wise man would tarry

 

Then Kiranon removed his threadbare cloak

Causing the old man to near have a stroke

For revealed to all was armour and sword

Of such quality befitting a lord

 

“You said night twice.”

“What?”

“You ended with night twice. It’s right at the beginning and it breaks the story straight away.”

“You do realise my young prince, and not withstanding that it is way past your bed time, that writing is either best done in solitude or in collaboration with other writers and never...ever with a critic peering down in judgement over one’s shoulder right at the moment of its creation?”

“But isn’t it better to fix up your mistakes straight away to avoid repeating them?”

 “Mistakes! Get out! Get out before I call the guards to return you to your bed.”

The young prince pulled back to the doorway. “You also ended with ‘cloak’ twice” and closed the door.

“Guards!”

-------------------------------------------------

 

Hope you liked it and I look forward to others who also step in with submissions


#1Stormynature

Posted 15 July 2013 - 08:58 AM

So earlier this evening I was talking with a gentlemen who basically made me realise that despite having been on this site for 18 months or so I have never really posted a piece of my writing which got me to thinking that I hadn't really seen many other's writings either. So here is the thread to do so. Throw a small sample in...it doesn't need to be complete, it can be on any subject but it should be sufficiently large enough to give a taste of your style. Think of it as a way to demonstrate your ability and advertise yourself in a public forum filled with people ready to cut you to shreds on the smallest typo. By way of demonstration here is an opening of mine to piece I am currently working on 

 

 

THE DRAGON'S SCALE

 

In the hours of loneliest night

I set down these words by the lamp’s light

For I wish to record a most wonderful tale

Of a prince and a princess and the dragon’s scale

 

It all began on a cold winter’s night

When a little village awoke in fright

At the horrible sound of some beast’s roar

Then all fell silent and they slept once more

 

It wasn’t till dawn when they found they horse

Half eaten up that they knew the source

The manner of beast which in the night did wail

For lying on the ground was a dragon’s scale

 

It was large as a cartwheel and made of gold

And when it was lifted took three men to hold

Laughter broke out and they all capered around

But amidst the excitement an old man frowned

 

Stop this foolishness the man cried to the crowd

Waiting for silence before speaking out loud

‘Tis an evil gift evil indeed

For dragon’s gold fills a heart with greed

 

You all know the legends and what they tell

Look not at the gold or deeper the spell

We must take it away before we are lost

And only evil into our hearts has crossed

 

I fear not this spell spoke a stranger from the side

I fear nothing at all ‘cept my soon-to-be bride

And if you allow me I would buy your scale

For it pleases me with its yellow so pale

 

The crowd turned as the stranger’s voice spoke

And saw a young man in threadbare cloak

Who are you asked the old man his eyes ablaze

That treads forward a fool where a wise man stays

 

Who am I you ask in a voice that demands

Why I’m Prince Kiranon from far distant lands

Searching the world for the one I’ll marry

Going on where a wise man would tarry

 

Then Kiranon removed his threadbare cloak

Causing the old man to near have a stroke

For revealed to all was armour and sword

Of such quality befitting a lord

 

“You said night twice.”

“What?”

“You ended with night twice. It’s right at the beginning and it breaks the story straight away.”

“You do realise my young prince, and not withstanding that it is way past your bed time, that writing is either best done in solitude or in collaboration with other writers and never...ever with a critic peering down in judgement over one’s shoulder right at the moment of its creation?”

“But isn’t it better to fix up your mistakes straight away to avoid repeating them?”

 “Mistakes! Get out! Get out before I call the guards to return you to your bed.”

The young prince pulled back to the doorway. “You also ended with ‘cloak’ twice” and closed the door.

“Guards!”

-------------------------------------------------

 

Hope you liked it and I look forward to others who also step in with submissions


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