I've been developing a game for a while now, but I'm finding it increasingly difficult to add new features, because I don't have a system for managing my objects.
Are there any good books I should read (or websites) that explain how to structure a game to manage objects at the same time as giving those objects access to information about events?

I know a game engine would probably help, but I don't know anything about how to choose one, and I'm looking for one that uses less memory, because I hope to add a lot of stuff to the game.

EDIT: I mean a TON of stuff. So much stuff no other game of this type has this much STUFF.

I've been developing a game for a while now, but I'm finding it increasingly difficult to add new features, because I don't have a system for managing my objects.
Are there any good books I should read (or websites) that explain how to structure a game to manage objects at the same time as giving those objects access to information about events?

I know a game engine would probably help, but I don't know anything about how to choose one, and I'm looking for one that uses less memory, because I hope to add a lot of stuff to the game.

Not knowing about how to choose a tool is an indicator that you need to do some homework, but we can offer some suggestions if we knew more about your game's specifications. What exactly are you trying to get your objects to do? Do you want a generic framework to tell objects about events in the game?

Yes, I would like to have a generic system for passing events to objects. That's what I'm trying to figure out.
Most of it would be collision detection and timers.
NOTE: I would like each object to be able to be represented by more than one set of colliding information, or to have no colliding information at all.