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Programming languages comparison


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#1 Vodahmin   Members   -  Reputation: 233

Posted 13 October 2012 - 10:38 AM

Just found this comic on the Internet, I thought I'd share it with you Posted Image


Posted Image

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#2 Shippou   Members   -  Reputation: 1688

Posted 13 October 2012 - 10:50 AM

From HERE

C
You shoot yourself in the foot.
C++
You accidentally create a dozen clones of yourself and shoot them all in the foot. Providing emergency medical assistance is impossible since you can’t tell which are bitwise copies and which are just pointing at others and saying, “That’s me, over there.”
JAVA
After importing java.awt.right.foot.* and java.awt.gun.right.hand.*, and writing the classes and methods of those classes needed, you’ve forgotten what the hell you’re doing.
Ruby
Your foot is ready to be shot in roughly five minutes, but you just can’t find anywhere to shoot it.
PHP
You shoot yourself in the foot with a gun made with pieces from 300 other guns.
ASP.NET
Find a gun, it falls apart. Put it back together, it falls apart again. You try using the .GUN Framework, it falls apart. You stab yourself in the foot instead.
SQL
SELECT @ammo:=bullet FROM gun WHERE trigger = ‘PULLED’;
INSERT INTO leg (foot) VALUES (@ammo);
Perl
You shoot yourself in the foot, but nobody can understand how you did it. Six months later, neither can you.
Javascript
YOu’ve perfected a robust, rich user experience for shooting yourself in the foot. You then find that bullets are disabled on your gun.
CSS
You shoot your right foot with one hand, then switch hands to shoot your left foot but you realize that the gun has turned into a banana.
FORTRAN
You shoot yourself in each toe, iteratively, until you run out of toes, then you read in the next foot and repeat. If you run out of bullets, you continue anyway because you have no exception-handling ability.
Modula2
After realizing that you can’t actually accomplish anything in this language, you shoot yourself in the head.
COBOL
Using a COLT 45 HANDGUN, AIM gun at LEG.FOOT, THEN place ARM.HAND.FINGER. on HANDGUN.TRIGGER and SQUEEZE. THEN return HANDGUN to HOLSTER. CHECK whether shoelace needs to be retied.
LISP
You shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which
you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which
you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which
you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which
you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds ….
BASIC
Shoot yourself in the foot with a water pistol. On big systems, continue until entire lower body is waterlogged.
FORTH
Foot in yourself shoot.
APL
You shoot yourself in the foot, then spend all day figuring out how to do it in fewer characters.
Pascal
The compiler won’t let you shoot yourself in the foot.
SNOBOL
If you succeed, shoot yourself in the left foot.
If you fail, shoot yourself in the right foot.
Concurrent Euclid
You shoot yourself in somebody else’s foot.
HyperTalk
Put the first bullet of the gun into the foot of the left leg of you.
Answer the result.
Motif
You spend days writing a UIL description of your foot, the trajectory, the bullet, and the intricate scrollwork on the ivory handles of the gun. When you finally get around to pulling the trigger, the gun jams.
Unix
% ls
foot.c foot.h foot.o toe.c toe.o
% rm * .o
rm: .o: No such file or directory
% ls
%
Paradox
Not only can you shoot yourself in the foot, your users can too.
Revelation
You’ll be able to shoot yourself in the foot just as soon as you figure out what all these bullets are for.
Visual Basic
You’ll shoot yourself in the foot, but you’ll have so much fun doing it that you won’t care.
Prolog
You tell your program you want to be shot in the foot. The program figures out how to do it, but the syntax doesn’t allow it to explain.
Ada
After correctly packaging your foot, you attempt to concurrently load the gun, pull the trigger, scream and shoot yourself in the foot. When you try, however, you discover that your foot is of the wrong type.
Assembly
You try to shoot yourself in the foot only to discover you must first reinvent the gun, the bullet, and your foot. After that’s done, you pull the trigger, the gun beeps several times, then crashes.
370 JCL
You send your foot down to MIS with a 4000-page document explaining how you want it to be shot. Three years later, your foot comes back deep-fried.
Python
You try to shoot yourself in the foot but you just keep hitting the whitespace between your toes.


Edited by Shippou, 13 October 2012 - 10:52 AM.

 Reactions To Technologies:
1. Anything that is in the world when you’re born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works.
2. Anything that's invented between when you’re fifteen and thirty-five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it.
3. Anything invented after you're thirty-five is against the natural order of things.

- Douglas Adams 2002


 


#3 shurcool   Members   -  Reputation: 439

Posted 13 October 2012 - 01:34 PM

Unix
% ls
foot.c foot.h foot.o toe.c toe.o
% rm * .o
rm: .o: No such file or directory
% ls
%

Omg that is so good! Never realized the danger of an extra space.

#4 TheChubu   Crossbones+   -  Reputation: 4551

Posted 13 October 2012 - 09:22 PM

Unix
% ls
foot.c foot.h foot.o toe.c toe.o
% rm * .o
rm: .o: No such file or directory
% ls
%

roflmao I wasn't following it till the second ls and then it all made sense :P

"I AM ZE EMPRAH OPENGL 3.3 THE CORE, I DEMAND FROM THEE ZE SHADERZ AND MATRIXEZ"

 

My journals: dustArtemis ECS framework and Making a Terrain Generator


#5 Sean T. McBeth   Crossbones+   -  Reputation: 1594

Posted 16 October 2012 - 09:52 PM

Ruby: you hit your foot with your brand, new, exclusive to Ruby invention called the Atlatl, because guns are violent, mkay.

[Formerly "capn_midnight". See some of my projects. Find me on twitter tumblr G+ Github.]


#6 Nypyren   Crossbones+   -  Reputation: 4495

Posted 16 October 2012 - 11:14 PM

Hey, don't dis the atlatl. It feels pretty badass when you actually hit the target with one! ;)

... I guess the same thing could be said of some programming languages, too.

Edited by Nypyren, 16 October 2012 - 11:15 PM.


#7 FableFox   Members   -  Reputation: 511

Posted 17 October 2012 - 12:08 AM

PureBasic (www.purebasic.com)

Shoot(Foot);


And you can do it with revolver wearing croc, magnum wearing slipppers, or whatever wearing whatever.

And if you want to do it Alone in The Dark 3 kung fu style, you can put the bullet in your hand pointed to your foot and hit it with a hammer.

Explanation: PureBasic is NASM in Basic flavour with a simple style to do "OOP" enough to let you write read able code. A license with free upgrade allow you to compile to Windows, Linux, MacOS and AmigaOS. And it has all the popular function built in (GUI, multimedia, opengl, database, etc).

And since it built on top of NASM, you can add inline assembly too.

You are welcome :-)
Fable Fox is Stronger <--- Fable Fox is Stronger Project

#8 Krohm   Crossbones+   -  Reputation: 3167

Posted 17 October 2012 - 01:19 AM

Made my day dudes. Thank you.

#9 froop   Members   -  Reputation: 636

Posted 19 October 2012 - 06:05 AM

kinda related http://wiki.theory.org/YourLanguageSucks

#10 slayemin   Members   -  Reputation: 2790

Posted 23 October 2012 - 01:10 AM

Nothing for C#? That's too bad...
Here are two of my additions for some essoteric languages:

Malbolge:
You will never shoot your foot because your brain will melt first.

Brainfuck:
If you eventually manage to shoot your foot off with this, that'll be the least of your worries when the maintenance programmer gets a hold of you.

Eric Nevala

Indie Developer | Dev blog





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