^^ lol, thanks Dave!
-no, i hold no grudges against Frob or anyone else around here, I get what you guys generally try to tell people. but I definitely think he completely misunderstood me the first go around. I am very much decided in my mind and heart that this is what I want for my life. so damnit, AVAST in the general... THAT WAYS direction, ho!!!!! *points towards the sea of game industry.
as for the clarity thing; I think part of the reason my original post was so long and perhaps hard to follow is that I have so much passion welled up inside me about this, and it becomes so frustrating not being able to deliver on it, to the point where i just end up spewing random details and spur of the moment feelings on the subject. when it comes down to actually writing an essay or verbally communicating, I can do that pretty well.
^^ you know, as far as school is concerned; there is definitely a part of me that knows I should and would like to go back and get the education. it was a right place, wrong time sort of thing for me. I know it will be an even bigger commitment doing it all on my own, but I'm ready for that. I've kept in touch with one of my professors there, and he had some inspiring words for me as well on the subject.
The scariest part of this whole endeavor is the "am I good enough" factor. I struggled with this a lot at DigiPen, when I saw the work that some of my peers were producing while I was just barely able to keep my head above the fray and pass all the classes. In fact, this is part of the conversation I had with my former professor there, and he told me that he would never have passed me if I wasn't good enough to go on and succeed in the industry. this was really, really inspiring to me.
Diversify - Try out everything? what exactly do you mean? everything in the world, or do you mean diversify with different game related undertakings to see which really sticks with me? I hope the latter because, if it's all the same to you, I am going to ignore anything and anyone suggesting to me that I should give up my dream of working in the game industry. I can say that throughout the last few years of my life, which have been very rough, the resounding and emphatic lesson I have derived is that I cannot find happiness in anything other than being true to myself. living to please others has left me miserable. And as I was trying to explain before in my initial rant, Games have never left me. they have remained a great passion and interest to me my entire life, and I just have this inner call, this feeling I can't quantify but I know it exists, that this is what I have to do with my life.
criticism- yeah, I know. They taught us that at DigiPen too. most of what I make is crap, I'm aware of that. lol! but I also understand that through trial and error, perserverence and process, I can refine a piece into something I am proud of, and hopefully, others will be too.
oh dear, i had no idea 3ds max was that expensive
and i'm assuming Maya is even more so??
yup. blender it is for now.... >_<
yeah, i think i will stick with blender for now and make what i can in it. when i get the 200 dollars to spend freely I will just outright purchase 3ds max and hopefully eventually maya, but I need to prove to myself first that it's something I can do. blender looks very powerful and complicated, I'm not so sure why its viewed as a step down from the others but i suppose that is something one wouldn't understand being a beginner.
