Your second version is much better sound-wise!
In my ears, it still lacks the "Oomph" you're aiming for, though - for a number of reasons, including sound choice, arrangement and overall suspense and dynamics.
What usually helps me in those cases is doing an A-B comparison with a track that goes in a similar direction. Ask yourself these questions:
- Are my synth and drum sounds up to par?
- How did the other producer arrange the track to make it sound gripping and dynamic?
- Am I doing too much at some point in the track? Are sounds competing for attention?
Try not to apply compression and EQ willy-nilly, read up on some stuff and give it an almost engineering-like approach, at least for practice.
For example, a lot of "Thump" and "Oomph" can be achieved by applying some good old side-chain compression. (Synths getting ducked by the kick)
Try to use sound shaping tools in moderation, especially if you're not too sure what you're doing yet. If the EQs on all of your tracks look like roller coaster rides, you've probably made the wrong timbre and arrangement choices to begin with. By the way, how is your monitoring situation? Can you actually check the low frequencies reliably?
If terms come up that you don't understand - like triplets and shuffle - Google those, try to apply them to something you're working on, and come back with more specific questions.
In any case, thanks for sharing and being open to feedback!
Edited by Moritz P.G. Katz, 28 March 2013 - 04:43 AM.