Do they ever update VS releases to fix the ridiculous nonsense or are they just going to wait for the next excuse to release a newer version that uses more resources in order to break more things?
They actually already put out an update.
And the second update will be out very, very soon.
Its not a perfect product, but its doing pretty well for such an old and likely crufty codebase. Some people complain that its old and slow, but there's been a lot of progress made towards solution loading and build speeds, and lots of valuable features added.
Things can always be improved, but don't let reports of performance problems scare you too much. I doubt people are making these reports up, but at the same time if they were common people would either not use visual studio, or would complain about it much more consistently.