Ok it's like I feel like an insect.I don't know if I really was or wasn't gifted as a child.I'm smarter than most my peers, but I don't really feel exceptional and YET from a young age everyone - parents, teachers, peers kept telling me that I was an absolute genius, gifted, etc.They kept saying that I'm gonna be great, that I'm a sponge that absorbs information, that I'm a living computer?!And yet I never had any achievements, there was never a reason for them to be impressed.I have 0 achievements.But all this changed me in a bad way.It's like I assumed I'm smart and destined to be successful, so I never put any effort in anything.By the age of 19 I couldn't solve a quadratic equation.I only speak 3 languages(unlike actual prodigies who speak 20-40).But my ego is damaged from the childhood of falsely being called a genius...and now I feel like I'm being crushed every time I read about an actual prodigy.Like this guy:
Reading about this guy I have the impression that compared to him the guy from the movie "Limitless" is a retard...and compared to the guy in the movie "Limitless" I am a retard...yeah it's not a really good feeling.It's like I was lied to.I mean when I think about it it's almost INSANE.Every day all sorts of people would compliment me on my intelligence and I had NO achievements whatsoever.No skills, no nothing.My only skill is that I have supreme cognitive empathy - I can almost read peoples minds by the smallest signs of body language, change of tone or facial expressions that most people wouldn't even recognize.I've always had this skill.But it's pretty much useless.The only intelligence type I respect is the mathematical/logical one and it's the one I'm lacking in.I learned all of high school math in 3 weeks(which Sidis would have learned in 1 day) and vector calculus in about 30 hours(which he would learn just by knowing the basics of calculus and vectors and deriving the rest on his own) in order to get into a university with programming and here's what I noticed there:
A lot of people who study something related to tech have the tendency to base their worth on their intellectual abilities and react negatively when proven inferior.
How do you guys feel about this?