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How is this complex called/does anyone else suffer from this?


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#1 Sock5   Members   -  Reputation: 162

Posted 16 October 2013 - 06:55 PM

Ok it's like I feel like an insect.I don't know if I really was or wasn't gifted as a child.I'm smarter than most my peers, but I don't really feel exceptional and YET from a young age everyone - parents, teachers, peers kept telling me that I was an absolute genius, gifted, etc.They kept saying that I'm gonna be great, that I'm a sponge that absorbs information, that I'm a living computer?!And yet I never had any achievements, there was never a reason for them to be impressed.I have 0 achievements.But all this changed me in a bad way.It's like I assumed I'm smart and destined to be successful, so I never put any effort in anything.By the age of 19 I couldn't solve a quadratic equation.I only speak 3 languages(unlike actual prodigies who speak 20-40).But my ego is damaged from the childhood of falsely being called a genius...and now I feel like I'm being crushed every time I read about an actual prodigy.Like this guy:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_James_Sidis 

Reading about this guy I have the impression that compared to him the guy from the movie "Limitless" is a retard...and compared to the guy in the movie "Limitless" I am a retard...yeah it's not a really good feeling.It's like I was lied to.I mean when I think about it it's almost INSANE.Every day all sorts of people would compliment me on my intelligence and I had NO achievements whatsoever.No skills, no nothing.My only skill is that I have supreme cognitive empathy - I can almost read peoples minds by the smallest signs of body language, change of tone or facial expressions that most people wouldn't even recognize.I've always had this skill.But it's pretty much useless.The only intelligence type I respect is the mathematical/logical one and it's the one I'm lacking in.I learned all of high school math in 3 weeks(which Sidis would have learned in 1 day) and vector calculus in about 30 hours(which he would learn just by knowing the basics of calculus and vectors and deriving the rest on  his own) in order to get into a university with programming and here's what I noticed there:

A lot of people who study something related to tech have the tendency to base their worth on their intellectual abilities and react negatively when proven inferior.

How do you guys feel about this?

 


>removed<


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#2 ChaosEngine   Crossbones+   -  Reputation: 2509

Posted 16 October 2013 - 07:31 PM

First, knowing 3 languages is not a bad achievement.

Second, there's always someone better.

Well not always, but for 99.99999% of the population, you will find someone better than you at whatever it is you.

 

If you constantly compare yourself to others, you will spend your life depressed and unhappy. 

Instead, use them as an inspiration, a goal to strive towards, while at the same time accepting that there are some things you will just never be able to do. That's no reason not to try anyway.

 

Time for some bad news. Your parents, teachers and peers have messed up your world view. They have skewed your work ethic towards tasks you find easy. 

Hard work and perseverance are more important than talent. There's every chance you're not a genius, but merely above average. Deal with it. 

 

 

And now I will reveal how you get good at whatever it is you really want to do....

 

Work at it.

 

Practice till your fingers bleed. Write code until you can't even think straight. It takes 10000 hours to master a skill.

 

Best get started.


if you think programming is like sex, you probably haven't done much of either.-------------- - capn_midnight

#3 LennyLen   Crossbones+   -  Reputation: 4036

Posted 16 October 2013 - 10:37 PM


Time for some bad news. Your parents, teachers and peers have messed up your world view. They have skewed your work ethic towards tasks you find easy. 
Hard work and perseverance are more important than talent.

 

Agreed.  I had a similar thing happen to me with high-school.  I received the top result in the entrance exam and so was pretty much left to do as I pleased.  I pretty much memorized the entire years worth of text books in the first month or so and never bothered studying after that.  Work I didn't like I simply didn't do and the teachers didn't care because I was getting better results than the other students in my class.

 

This worked out well for high-school, and I managed to get through the first year of university in the same manner, and then second year came along.  Their was simply far too much course material for me to memorize and their were constant assessments that HAD to be done.  I had no idea how to study, and no experience at making myself sit down and work at something on demand.  Needless to say I failed that year very badly.

 

So no matter how smart you are, eventually you're going to know how to work for things and if you don't learn that skill when you're young enough to, it can have severe consequences.



#4 sunandshadow   Moderators   -  Reputation: 5073

Posted 16 October 2013 - 10:55 PM

Being really good at reading body language is supposedly good for playing poker, being a psychotherapist, and/or being a pick-up artist.  If you can imitate it as well as read it, that's great for acting; if you can draw it, that's great for drawing portraits and comics.


Phone game idea available free to someone who will develop it (Alphadoku game - the only existing phone game of this type is both for windows phone only and awful. PM for details.)


I want to help design a "sandpark" MMO. Optional interactive story with quests and deeply characterized NPCs, plus sandbox elements like player-craftable housing and lots of other crafting. If you are starting a design of this type, please PM me. I also love pet-breeding games.


#5 szecs   Members   -  Reputation: 2185

Posted 16 October 2013 - 10:57 PM

I was in a bit similar situation (I was only considered very-very talented, but not a genius), plus I also had the feeling that I have "supreme empathy" and I thought I'm very good at understanding correlations in the world.

 

The first belief crushed quite early, at about the age of 12-13, which leaded to a 2-3 year of feeling an actual retard, who was lied not to be one (this caused a pretty strong anxiety those years).

The second belief crushed at the age of 24, as a result of intense foruming and some events that made me rethink my life. For the first time I did the rethinking methodically, which resulted in the discovery that I'm actually not good at all at empathy and understanding correlations in the world.

 

The third belief that followed me all of my life was that I was very talented at creating complex systems, like programs or machines (I graduated as a mechanical engineer, machine constructor). After some work in the engineering industry, and building my own Lego Technic creations, I realised this was also false.

 

So pretty much everything points to me being your average fuckin Joe. But fortunately, I'm getting over it, though they were pretty rough discoveries in a small time-frame (the 2nd and 3rd belief crushing).

So all I can say is thins: try to stop thinking about it, and don't pay much attention and importance/significance of your thoughts about anything.

 

-Captain Obvious


Edited by szecs, 16 October 2013 - 11:30 PM.


#6 Krohm   Crossbones+   -  Reputation: 3261

Posted 17 October 2013 - 01:28 AM


The only intelligence type I respect is the mathematical/logical one and it's the one I'm lacking in
I find extremely disturbing that you claim those abilities and then have a so closed mind about intelligence. I think your main problem might be self-confidence but I'm rather sure you shouldn't be posting there. Consider talking to a specialist.

#7 Sock5   Members   -  Reputation: 162

Posted 17 October 2013 - 05:12 AM

 


The only intelligence type I respect is the mathematical/logical one and it's the one I'm lacking in
I find extremely disturbing that you claim those abilities and then have a so closed mind about intelligence. I think your main problem might be self-confidence but I'm rather sure you shouldn't be posting there. Consider talking to a specialist.

 

yeah what I meant was that basically this is the stereotypical "smart guy" type of intelligence and it makes me the most agitated when I don't excel in it xD thanks to everyone for sharing their similar experiences, at least if I ever have children I'll know not to over-praise them like this


>removed<


#8 mikeman   Members   -  Reputation: 2270

Posted 17 October 2013 - 07:55 AM

Funnily enough, my early experiences were similar. Not called a "genius", of course, but parents, extended family, friends, teachers, all insisted that I was surely extremely intelligent. I was able to read books(like greek mythology, for young readers of course) & comics since I was 4, though I think that's not really rare at all...anyway, recently my cousin, who is 6 years older, told me a story I didn't know about: When I was in the 4th grade, she took an essay I had written for school and presented it to her highschool teacher, asking him for his opinion(without telling him who wrote it, or so she claims at least)...and she says that he stated the essay certainly seemed like it was written by someone at the last years of highschool (note: highschool("gymnasium") in Greece is from 12-15 years old, 15-18 is typically called differently). So yes, I kept hearing that I was very intelligent by family, friends(or friends of my parents) and teachers.

 

In any case, this year I celebrated my 31 years of existence on this planet, and it's absolutely certain that nobody can say I have achieved anything that would put me in the..."extremely intelligent" category. smile.png It is possible that parents/teachers were just overly impressed by the fact that I started reading/writing, for whatever reason, in a somewhat earlier age than most of my peers, that in turn gave me an initial head start, and they just overestimated the whole thing. I don't believe I'm stupid, but certainly not especially gifted either; like most people I'm just around the average. Actually, joining GDNet was quite an..."enlighting" experience, so to speak, as I was exposed for the first time to lots of young people my age, or even younger, who were clearly much, much more intelligent. And yes, it was quite disheartening to suddenly discover you're not as..."special" as you've been told, but eventually it's for the best. I really do think parents should avoid overly praising their offsprings about such things; as other posters have said here, even if the child is indeed gifted(and perhaps, *especially* if he/she is gifted), what matters is for them to understand that it's all about the work they'll do. 


Edited by mikeman, 17 October 2013 - 08:02 AM.


#9 ActiveUnique   Members   -  Reputation: 864

Posted 17 October 2013 - 08:58 AM

@Sock5 When you mentioned reading about somebody who you want to be like making you feel worse, it sounded familiar. It's actually more common (in my society) to worry about looks, wanting to look more like the people in magazines. I find your problem very similar, although I don't know if it has a name other than envy. By focusing on someone else, or even watching a  fitness video while trying to work out, the person watching can feel bad about how they look although they continue to work on this goal.

 

From the description you gave you're an empathetic intelligent person, the type of cool calculating intelligence you respect is on the low empathy side of the spectrum. It will be much healthier to accept yourself for who you are. It's quite impossible to maintain mental health and trying to be what you are not.

 

I'll reference a TV show. "Malcolm in the Middle" made a similar point, the prodigy ended up as a [spolier] not a very flattering job to have at the end because nobody around him gave any direction, and eventually he just took whatever he was given. What you should understand is that you are the only one with a right to tell yourself what to do; always think about how you can achieve what you want in terms of what you know of your ability now.

 

Being able to nearly read people like books is a good hidden talent. Can you get along with people you just met? There are many organizations that need leadership, just as an example. This is a constructive way to use such ability, unlike mentalists and pick up artists who just want to show off they can convince people do do anything.


I've read about the idea guy. It's a serious misnomer. You really want to avoid the lazy team.


#10 Icebone1000   Members   -  Reputation: 1156

Posted 17 October 2013 - 10:12 AM

My mom taught me how to be really effort full to achieve good results as a kid. Shed beat the crap out of me if I didnt get good results. Scary lady.

When I was a kid it was terrible having to study so much, but growing up I realized that most ppl are really lazy, and that it worth a lot. So the best thing about all that wasnt really what I learned by studying so much, but learning to study so much when you need.

 

Today theres internet, any ppl can learn how to do anything, but if you dont know how to learn (or what youd like to do), you will not get anywhere..



#11 Sock5   Members   -  Reputation: 162

Posted 17 October 2013 - 11:03 AM

What do you think about IQ tests?I'm too scared to take one in real life, I need to find some print of an official MENSA test online.So far only ripoff sites.


>removed<


#12 Icebone1000   Members   -  Reputation: 1156

Posted 17 October 2013 - 11:27 AM

I believe IQ test shows how much a person is good at IQ tests =P



#13 froop   Members   -  Reputation: 636

Posted 17 October 2013 - 11:29 AM

Intelligence is overrated. It will just make you realize how bad and suboptimal everything is.

 

Being able to exploit and opress is what makes human successful.

 

Of course I'm not serious. Or?



#14 mikeman   Members   -  Reputation: 2270

Posted 17 October 2013 - 02:26 PM

What do you think about IQ tests?I'm too scared to take one in real life, I need to find some print of an official MENSA test online.So far only ripoff sites.

 

You know, in all honesty, I think your whole perspective is just wrong. It is telling, I think, that, as an example of someone very intelligent that you admire/are "jealous" of, you didn't mention someone like, say, Richard Feynman or Alan Turing...but this guy Sidis, who I've never heard before, and whose rather short Wikipedia page deals mostly with claims his family made about how he scored on IQ tests or how many dozen languages he spoke. Who cares! There are guys that can memorize 30,000 digits of pi and read a 400-page book in a few minutes, and there are guys that can't possibly do that, but can change our view about science, life and the world in general. So yeah, Turing was really, really good at inventing the Turing machine and fathering the fields of computer science and AI, Feynman was really, really good at inventing Feynman diagrams, advancing quantum electrodynamics and getting a nice shiny nobel prize for those, and Sidis was really, really good at...taking IQ tests. Well, I guess everyone has his own unique talent smile.png

 

Furthermore, some of your other statements are pretty childish(which is ok though, since you're still only 19)

 

 


The only intelligence type I respect is the mathematical/logical one and it's the one I'm lacking in.I learned all of high school math in 3 weeks(which Sidis would have learned in 1 day) and vector calculus in about 30 hours(which he would learn just by knowing the basics of calculus and vectors and deriving the rest on  his own) 

 

 

Seriously now? You're stamping your feet and get all mad because it took you 3 whole weeks to learn all highschool math and 30 whole hours to learn vector calculus, while this guy Sidis(again) would do all that in a couple of days? I'm sorry, but did your parents/teachers/peers told you that you are gifted, or that you're a member of the Q continuum? Because if you did those things you claimed, then you're clearly extremely gifted, you're just not god on earth and we won't drop on our knees to worship you just yet (but hey, if you cure cancer or solve P=NP, we might!).

 

In sort, relax! You're *only* 19, your academic career is just starting. If you truly are gifted and fall into depression because your IQ(whatever that means) is 150 instead of 380, now that would truly be an extremely stupid thing to do indeed! smile.png


Edited by mikeman, 17 October 2013 - 02:40 PM.


#15 jms bc   Members   -  Reputation: 445

Posted 17 October 2013 - 03:31 PM

Hey Sock5, I really like "3 Skins Without Men". Clearly, you have something unique going on in your head -- IQ tests and comparisons to other people won't show the value of that. 


The Four Horsemen of Happiness have left.


#16 ChaosEngine   Crossbones+   -  Reputation: 2509

Posted 17 October 2013 - 04:45 PM

What do you think about IQ tests?I'm too scared to take one in real life, I need to find some print of an official MENSA test online.So far only ripoff sites.


As others have said IQ tests are awesome for measuring your ability to take IQ tests and IMHO Mensa is just intellectual collective masturbation.

Seriously, stop worrying about how smart you are or aren't. Go do something. You're on this site so you are clearly interested in game development, what games have you made lately? 


if you think programming is like sex, you probably haven't done much of either.-------------- - capn_midnight

#17 Sock5   Members   -  Reputation: 162

Posted 17 October 2013 - 05:03 PM

 

What do you think about IQ tests?I'm too scared to take one in real life, I need to find some print of an official MENSA test online.So far only ripoff sites.


As others have said IQ tests are awesome for measuring your ability to take IQ tests and IMHO Mensa is just intellectual collective masturbation.

Seriously, stop worrying about how smart you are or aren't. Go do something. You're on this site so you are clearly interested in game development, what games have you made lately? 

 

working on a game engine with a friend for some time now, it's going great, thanks


>removed<


#18 Bacterius   Crossbones+   -  Reputation: 9306

Posted 18 October 2013 - 07:05 AM


Seriously, stop worrying about how smart you are or aren't. Go do something. You're on this site so you are clearly interested in game development, what games have you made lately? 

 

This, pretty much. IQ means nothing, and knowledge is wasted unless you produce something - anything - with it. And there's always going to be someone that's better than you at something (possibly even everything). Deal with it. If you give up every time you see that someone has surpassed you in some way you may as well never go outside because you're gonna meet plenty of them. Furthermore, most people never produce anything of truly lasting value to humankind, and still consider their lives a success. Maybe that's really what you're afraid of.

 

Oh, and by the way, on a fundamental level, nobody likes to discover they actually suck at what they thought they were really good at. I don't think anyone in their right mind would be told the news and exclaim "wow, I'm so happy, for a moment I thought I was actually good at something". But what matters is how you go from there: do you try something else, persevere and try to prove you can do cool stuff anyway, or succumb to peer pressure and disappear off the face of the earth? That's ultimately how people will remember you and your achievements, not your IQ or school grades or how fast you can learn vector calculus, unless you make a big deal out of it and become the next Sidis (if that's what you want - personally if I had the abilities to become the smartest guy in the world, I probably wouldn't care for all the media attention, especially in this day and age).


The slowsort algorithm is a perfect illustration of the multiply and surrender paradigm, which is perhaps the single most important paradigm in the development of reluctant algorithms. The basic multiply and surrender strategy consists in replacing the problem at hand by two or more subproblems, each slightly simpler than the original, and continue multiplying subproblems and subsubproblems recursively in this fashion as long as possible. At some point the subproblems will all become so simple that their solution can no longer be postponed, and we will have to surrender. Experience shows that, in most cases, by the time this point is reached the total work will be substantially higher than what could have been wasted by a more direct approach.

 

- Pessimal Algorithms and Simplexity Analysis


#19 ChaosEngine   Crossbones+   -  Reputation: 2509

Posted 22 October 2013 - 06:59 PM


I don't think anyone in their right mind would be told the news and exclaim "wow, I'm so happy, for a moment I thought I was actually good at something".

 

True, but there is another way to look at it. It's not so much finding out that you suck at something, it's finding out how much better it's possible to be.

 

I've had my eyes opened several times in my life when I stupidly and naively assumed I had "mastered" a skill, and then I watched someone truly good at it. It's initially disheartening, but it's also inspiring.


if you think programming is like sex, you probably haven't done much of either.-------------- - capn_midnight

#20 Servant of the Lord   Crossbones+   -  Reputation: 21213

Posted 22 October 2013 - 10:19 PM

 

Wow, that guy seems like he lived a miserable life.


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