Wait, what's a "registry issue"? Is this a thing people can get?

If I bought a $200 laptop, I'd be surprised if it even booted. If you have an SSD, everything will be smooth and fine, Windows will boot in less than 10 seconds and your apps/games will start more or less instantly. If you don't have an SSD, everything will take forever.

As for stuff you didn't install, that's not Windows nor Microsofts fault, that's the PC manufacturer, in your recent case Toshiba. They are the ones filling it with viruslike crap, because they make money from it. Real viruses, registry issues and several other problems typically come from the user thinking he is a "power user" while he is not.

You should never compare Windows to Mac, you should compare Windows to OSX.

So, I went a few years without a laptop, because my last computer finally died (it shouldn't have died so soon for the price I paid). I got one again last year, and now I remember why I don't like windows.

Sounds like a problem with the manufacturer of the hardware of your laptop - i.e. not Microsoft. (Unless you were using a Microsoft Surface, which is the only exception).

First, I do like windows when it isn't infested with malware and viruses and google chrome plugins that I didn't even install.

Then you are using it wrong. My desktop, and my family's battalion of 3 laptops, rarely get viruses, and when we do, it takes me a few hours to get them off. And all four of these devices are in constant use 12 hours or more a day, every day.

I also like windows when it isn't getting slower every time I turn it on (which seems to be never). I like windows when it does not take an hour to load (which is only the first day you boot it).

Perhaps here's part of your problem. You never turn your devices off? I know alot of people leave their computers on for weeks on end, but that has never seemed to be a good idea to me. Shut it down every night.

It takes less than 5 minutes to boot my Windows desktop - purchased in 2007 and still running decently well, though aging. I wake up, hit the button, and go eat breakfast or take a shower, or even just pet my dog, and it's on - and remains on for the rest of the day before I turn it off right before heading to bed.

I like windows if windows ever ran like windows should run.

I do wish Window's GUI would be as responsive as OSX's - Apple puts much more design and optimization on their interfaces, for sure.

You know that point where things are so messed up it just feels so hopeless to fix them, because the issues are so deeply embedded? That is how windows makes me feel.

It's not so embedded that my non-techy family members can't use Windows with ease. Maybe two or three times a year they have a problem - a virus or an accidental change of some Windows setting, or whatever. I fix that and then they go back to everything running fine.

This computer is a $200 toshiba, the last one I had was a $1500 Gateway (a few years back, and a good graphics card). I see no difference.

A $200 laptop is a junk laptop. No wonder you are having issues! But even so, my family gets by on
$400 laptops just fine, though a bit slow (they last about 3 years). My desktop costs quite a bit more than that (but has lasted quite a bit longer as well).
The $1500 Gateway may have been defective - in any case, you can't reasonably blame Microsoft for Gateway's hardware issues and your own lack of security.

However, I do have a macbook, and I heard you can install Windows on a mac. So, do I get all of the registry issues I would get on a PC using OSX on it? Do I have to buy windows again? Does windows create it's own registry therefor making it susceptible to the same issues I have on my PC (viruses and such)?

You're likely to have more issues if you try to custom-install Windows on a Mac, because it sounds like you don't really understand Windows too well (which is partly Microsoft's fault - it should be more user-proof). Yes you have to buy Windows again, yes Windows creates it's own registry - the registry is part of Windows. No, viruses don't specifically depend on the registry - there would still be viruses if the registry didn't exist.

The reason why Windows is more mistake-prone than MacOSX is not because Apple has better developers.
It's because:
A) Windows runs on 90% of the worlds devices, and Microsoft has to continue to support and be backwards-compatible with each of those 5 billion devices.

B) Microsoft, because it sells absurdly more Windows devices than Apple sells OSX devices, has gotten complacent and has alot of inter-department in-fighting, because they have had (up until a few years ago) no strong competition, in terms of market-share. The exact same thing happened to Apple, back in the 1980s, when Apple was top dog, got lazy, and broke into inter-department in-fighting.

C) Microsoft is primarily is a software company catering to corporations. The fact that Microsoft Windows is so hugely popular among consumers is really the result of a huge fluke two decades ago, and then Microsoft capitalizing on that fluke ever since to solidify their position.

D) Apple's design methods is to create an experience, and force everyone to fit in how Apple thinks it should be done. Microsoft's design methods is to create an experience, and provide the tools for intelligent developers to extend and customize that experience however they want. Apple builds walls, Microsoft builds the tools to make walls. Apple's gardens inside the walls are very pleasant, but if you ever need or want to go outside the walls, you can't. Microsoft's gardens are overgrown and ill-maintained, but the gates of their garden walls aren't locked and they invite people to do their own thing.
Unfortunately for Microsoft, half their users sit in the middle of the overgrown garden and never leave the walls. The other half are led out of the walls by incompetent or malicious developers, and get lost in the woods.

E) When Microsoft tries to switch to Apple's methodologies, everyone gets upset. Politicians and lawmakers get upset and accuse Microsoft of anti-competitive behavior, developers get upset because we are more constrained in what we are able to do and also because we have to give Microsoft a significant share of our revenue when they start using the Apple model, and businesses get upset because they worry their archaic cobbled together thirty-year old business software will no longer get supported. Consumers get upset because they don't like things changing.

This doesn't help your problem any, but maybe it'll help you understand why Apple's devices are 'better'. They aren't better because Apple is more skilled, but because Apple has had to fight for their lives to survive whereas Microsoft got to mostly ride on their own laurels and because any attempt they do make to change direction is met with extreme resistance by pretty much everyone: Governments, Businesses, Developers, Consumers - their markets.

Perhaps here's part of your problem. You never turn your devices off? I know alot of people leave their computers on for weeks on end, but that has never seemed to be a good idea to me. Shut it down every night.

I'm one of those people that rarely turns their computer off. I have it running for weeks and even months at a time and it certainly doesn't get slower the longer it's running. Some programs, notably browsers, get sluggish if they run for a while, but I just close them and restart when they do. Ive never needed to restart Windows in the same way.

I'm one of those people that rarely turns their computer off. I have it running for weeks and even months at a time and it certainly doesn't get slower the longer it's running. Some programs, notably browsers, get sluggish if they run for a while, but I just close them and restart when they do. Ive never needed to restart Windows in the same way.

Never is a long time. ;) Still, I agree, since Windows 7/8, I have pretty much no problems with slowdows what-so-ever. But I suppose it depends alot on RAM amount and the system drive/swap drive. It's been a long time since I used anything with less than 8gb ram these days, most of my machines have 24 or 32 gb, so that might be related.

That's probably the reason why I find it necessary to shut down regularly. I'm still nursing 3GB, since I'm still on a 32bit version of Win7. Even so, I don't find my device chock full of viruses and hour long startup times like the OP.

[Edit:] For the record, incase anyone is curious, I use Microsoft Security Essentials (free!) and Spybot Search and Destroy (free!), and use Google Chrome as a web browser. My personal virus encounters are few and far between (years between), and usually only have to help my family members about once a year each (opened wrong email attachment, clicked on the wrong ad (or rather, 'any ad'), etc...).