i know i know but i wanted that everybody willl understand why i dont want to use it. i found it really slow loading 'big' model files.
You said you don't want to use vector because when loading big model files you found it slow. The implication given the topic being that your models were text files, because why else bring up an unrelated topic? Loading text and binary are different processes most of the time. It's like complaining about not liking the beach and we asked why and you said it was because one time someone threw dirt in your face and the beach has sand which is like dirt. Even if dirt and sand are similar the problem isn't the dirt/sand it's the person that threw the dirt in your face.
In this case, if you found std::vector slow when loading a big file then it was because of how you were using std::vector not because of std::vector being inherently slow. Learn how to use std::vector properly and your issue will go away.