The lookat is exactly as it says...the position that a light/camera/object is looking at. It is used to create the forward vector of the objectss orthonormal basis. this, combined with an up vector, can give a compete rotation matrix that defines how the object is oriented. Coupled with the objects position position, you can give a transform that equates to that objects world matrix. The ortho projection should not change from frame to frame, only when the parameters of that projection change. This is the whole point of separate view and projection transfoms. The light "view matrix" is used to get what the light "sees" and the projection describes how it is to be projected onto the shadow map.
Yeah after some trial and error got it working, basically i provide the player position as the camera position and the player position + light direction as the lookat vector so the shadow maps follows the player, i have a bug related with the moment each thing is update making the shadow jitter a bit but is something i have to investigate.