I used to feel the same way you did until one I came across a quote:
"The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bull$#@% story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it" -Jordan Belfort
I'm not saying the author of the quote should be your role model or anything but for some reason that really struck a chord with me so I printed it out and taped it below my monitor. Every time I feel a little unmotivated my eyes drift automatically (now) to that quote and I quickly realign myself to task.
So not to put it rudely but I see a bull$#@% story you seem to be telling yourself and it looks like you are trying to tell us, maybe even trying convince us, to tell you, you don't have time, you should quit, or this might not be for you. But I read your story, and see one not so different from mine, and I say what's really standing in your way?