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Member Since 24 Jul 2011
Offline Last Active Jan 06 2013 06:38 PM

Posts I've Made

In Topic: Programming progression

06 January 2013 - 06:15 PM

Right, I was in the wrong forum to begin with I guess. I'm talking about learning an actual language and theory. I don't have the tools I need, that's why I was so confused why you would tell me to 'just code' when I don't know anything that allows me to 'just code'. I guess the official documents somewhat give me that, though I still think it's a bad way to learn your first language.

In Topic: Programming progression

06 January 2013 - 05:27 PM

Never mind. Wrong references idea, official docs are fine.

In Topic: Programming progression

06 January 2013 - 04:55 PM

Nevermind, had the wrong idea of what you meant by references. Sorry about getting defensive.

In Topic: Casual Programming?

08 December 2012 - 08:00 AM

This may seem weird, but I think that programming can actually contribute to depression. I had a minor episode the other day and it was quite surprising to me. I think one reason for that is that being social is a large element of being happy. I think the best programmers are those who are so internally happy without external stimulation, that they can continue to hone their craft and not fall into the pit of depression. I also think that programming attracts people who are depressed and don't want to do the hard things that they know they have to do in life. Just take a minute or a day and sit in silence with yourself and you will know what is important in your life. Do that.

Interesting post, but I don't agree with the last two sentences. After many hours and many days of silence with myself didn't help at all, it made things worse for me. For me, the start of "healing" was not to pay attention to my random thoughts, not to try to think things over, not to think about my life, etc.

But the main problem with this whole thing here, these threads about depression, and the "advices", that we are not the same. What works for me, won't work for others. I have OCD, so having random thoughts all the time is an essential thing to my problem. Others have other bases.

So fighting with depression should start with looking for an expert.

I also don't quite agree with the above of just sitting in silence, but that's just my case. I am well aware that depression is something that is different in literally every case. It wasn't quite my plan to have a depression discussion (Now that I think about it I don't really know what I was asking) but there really isn't anything wrong with seeking advice from others when you're already taking the steps necessary for professional help as long as you are safe and smart about it. Even just talking about it can help sometimes.

Also -- Thank you BMO! The website you referred me to seems like something I would enjoy. I will look into it further.

In Topic: Casual Programming?

07 December 2012 - 09:28 PM

I had no reason on paper to be depressed - well off background, parents in a happy marriage, yes I fought with my siblings but who doesn't at that age? Brainy as anybody I ever knew, and got the results to prove it. (When the depression started affecting me, my work slipped quite badly

The line I quoted is probably one of the biggest reasons I'm so bent out of shape. I hate the fact I have no outside reason to be depressed. I will guarantee you I have a fear of failure. It may not be the entire story, as I'm sure my mental habits are not perfect, but it's definitely a very large part. I'm surprised you picked that out from just my writing! I've passed the point where menial every day tasks are straining. I can go about my day and I'm even looking for a part-time job to get my feet wet. However I can say with confidence I am still depressed.

I can definitely relate to your destructive or self-secluding episodes. I will leave the house when my parents get home and walk around town for hours until they go to bed and I can be 'alone' in a sense. And of course they occasionally involve beating the shit out of miscellaneous objects. I'm not exactly sure what I can ask you...but given that you're the closest thing I've found to what I'm going through any advice or relevant information would be appreciated.