It sounds interesting, I'm a big fan of this topic (total recall, inception, otherlands etc.) , but it is more like a wikipedia entry in your universe about a certain technology than a story, thought it could be enough as background information. To make it a story, you need to introduce some kind of conflict.
Agreed. It's a great concept but it feels like it's only a small piece of a much larger world. Are there any known problems or anyone who opposes the idea? Can it be modded or hacked? Start asking questions and really start to flesh the world itself out. Then start creating conflicts.