It sounds like you need to increase your motivation to program! I know what that's like, I've been there, and I'm sure a lot of the others around here have too. Programming is hard, and, especially when you're starting or working on lower-level code, it can seem like you're making absolutely no progress toward your goals. That's why I subscribe to Extra Credits, Wolfire Games, and Handmade Hero. That way, when I'm just wasting time on the internet, I'm usually looking at something that's going to give me ideas or inspiration or just a bit of abstract motivation to go back to coding. Hanging around this forum helps, too, because eventually you get to see other people struggling with what you used to struggle with and that's when you realize, even if you missed it before, that you've learned and grown as a programmer.
All of this is, of course, assuming that this is what you really want to do.
I'll also say that I, too, learned to program in bits and pieces when I was younger (C, C++, and Pascal) and I gave each of them up because working through books didn't feel like it was leading me toward making games (or any other really cool programs) so it was hard to keep with it. I knew there was an end-goal, it just seemed like I wasn't moving toward it. To this end, if you get a bit of basic programming experience under your belt, I'd recommend this book. It's not current anymore, and it's in C# (there's a recent/current forum topic discussing its merits and caveats here), but it goes through a lot of the basics of game-programming like handling input, displaying graphics (2D with an out-dated version of OpenGL), and most importantly, the game loop. I think this book put a lot of game programming and its mechanics in perspective for me.