To the first post, you make really good points and I couldn't put it any better. At the end of the day all it is and ever will be is a video game. CoD as well as others don't pride themeselves on realism.
I however for my survival horror video game, have made this a challenge for players dealing with monsters and and enemy human AI, if she is shot one time anywhere besides the arm, its game over as for the arm, it must be tended to or a slow bleed out will cause random death.
I think it has a lot to do with what you play. I see it this way, you play CoD and want realism thats like jumping in a pool and expecting not to get wet.