I'm usually a good enough of a writer, but when writing for games, I have to write in English, which is not my first language, so it turns out harder than expected.
At the moment we're working on a game which have 7 characters, each with his own back-story, which will be revealed to the player in 16 parts. Each part giving a bit more information about the character. Those parts are supposed to be short texts, read by the character himself. I'd appreciate it if you guys can have a look at the first part for the first character's story line, and give your comments / ideas / questions about it.
Just some background before you start reading: the game is a dark fantasy game, with very dark atmosphere. The character we're talking about here is a big burly warrior (almost like a barbarian).
Dirt. I always loved dirt.
Thanks a lot!