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randisking

Member Since 01 Dec 2013
Offline Last Active Jan 09 2014 10:00 PM

#5113658 Other name for "Space Police"

Posted by randisking on 01 December 2013 - 10:36 PM

To borrow from Star Trek, I like the idea of the Romulan Intelligence Agency, The Tal'shiar. A government agency almost more powerful than the government themselves, and often doing things that could be seen in direct conflict with the goals of the government and the military all due to constant suspicion. This could fit such a theme very nicely as an empire in decline might be suspicious of even their own military and government leadership. By the way I'm not suggesting using the name, just maybe if you were looking for a motivation for such a force.

 

If you invent the whole abbreviated history of this empire, think of a name that fits in with the history. As you can see with my example, it doesn't have to be a name that sounds  like Defense this or Force that. Sometimes a name that evokes a thought of suspicion and espionage or mystery and deadly purpose can do nicely.




#5113654 what do u think of this game story

Posted by randisking on 01 December 2013 - 10:19 PM

It is very confusing. You are throwing around a lot of names and terms that seem specific to your game world without any setup or back story whatsoever. Usually in writing if you are going to kick off a story without much back story first, you want to try to keep from getting too specific on names, places, etc but instead ease the reader (or gamer) into the mythos of your world. And you are moving at a rapid pace with these problems. Consider expanding drastically on your concept, as it seems to be something that is supposed to take place over an entire game, and not just the opening scenes of it. I would suggest to make bullet points out of what you've written and try to fill in a good deal of the missing details that tell us more about these characters and places in order to make us care about them.




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