conq: My feelings are not as extreme as what you imply at the end of your post. Once people get over their initial fear, they tend to find I'm a nice, witty guy. At least, that's what my friends say - their opinion might be biased ;) Nobody "knew something about [me] that even didn't know" (but to be fair, I've heard some surveillance horror stories...) or is trying to get me fired, but people have beaten me up, and people have betrayed me - I don't see why this necessarily means I'm mentally ill.
Far and away from mental illness, to me it sounds like there's something in your mannerisms that creeps people out and you've internalized the reactions you're getting to that. Body language matters, and even little things that are "off" can make people dislike you. Certainly I've had that "fear reaction" to people with body language that was "off" before. I'm self-aware enough to repress it as soon as it happens, but I get the sense that most other people aren't. The good news is that if your body language is your problem, once you're aware of what mannerisms those are, you can change them. It may even be something really simple that you can fix just by paying a little more attention to body language in general. Have you ever actually asked one of your friends why they were afraid of you at first? Or are you just going off guesswork here? I suggest that it's worth finding someone in your personal life who initially had that fear reaction to you and asking them some questions. Your friends are supposed to help you grow, and a real friend will be honest with you if you ask them and make it clear that you're asking because you want to better yourself and not because you want to have your ego stroked.
A coworker once told me of interviewing someone who was qualified according to his resume, but had a creepy stare. The candidate would look at you without ever seeming to blink, without ever seeming to look away, which coupled with generally terse answers to questions made him come across as off-puttingly intense. My coworker called it a "serial killer stare." I don't remember whether or not they hired him, off the top of my head. I've encountered people who stare like that, myself, and it really is off-putting. Some more examples of people I've found off-putting:
- someone who had a creepy way of moving his hands
- someone WHOSE VOICE HAD NO VOLUME CONTROL MEANING YOU COULDN'T HOLD ANYTHING RESEMBLING A PRIVATE CONVERSATION WITH HIM
- a number of people who chewed noisily and with their mouth open (yuck!)
- people who smelled bad
- people who stood too close to me
These were all things that weren't quite egregious enough to say anything about, but were still sufficiently off-putting to make me (and others) avoid them, at least until I recognized what was happening.
I myself used to be someone who could get weird responses from people, and so I have a pretty good idea of how it feels to be on the receiving end of that fear response. Encountering others who triggered that response in me helped me become more aware of my own body language (and in fact that body language was the problem!) and tailor it to match what people were more comfortable with. Eventually the changes became habit and I don't have to think about body language that much anymore.
To clarify, the second request I made earlier in the thread was for you to provide specific anecdotes of the ways that people have responded to you. Again - understand if you aren't comfortable with telling those sorts of stories on a forum, but telling us (eg) exactly what happened when a person "betrayed" you, or the chain of events that led someone to beat you up, might go a long way to helping us understand you.