I don't know if this forum is the right place to post this but anyway...
I'm a 20 years old junior software engineering student. I've always wanted to be a game developer and now I go to the uni & the department I've always wanted in order to achieve this goal.
Yet, I suck so badly at school and most importantly, I still have almost 0 knowlegde about programming or anything related to my field. Basically all I know is really basic and now half (or mostly) forgotten knowlegde about C and C++ that they taught us in the freshman year, and some SQL from last semester.
Since animation & art seemed to require more subjectivity and creativity (though I like to draw and stuff) I decided to end up being a game programmer since it's more straight forward and objective. Programming is the actual game itself and the rest of it is just polish (roughly) and I really adore & see John Carmack as my idol, and the fact that what made id Software's games revolutionary was their programming... are some other reasons why I want to be a programmer.
Anyway, eventhough I get the proper education and all, I couldn't be less motivated & more clueless. I'm in a state where I think I wasted all my time to achieve my dreams doing nothing. Rarely when I feel kind of motivated to actually do something I get stuck having no idea what to do since I don't know anything. I try to watch tutorials and I don't understand what I'm doing. I've begun lots and lots of tutorials lately. I watch a couple of episodes and get confused and bored and give up. My last attempt was last week, I decided to start learning C++ all over again and learn it for real so I could move on to work on games. But I got really bored, the beginning parts were things that I already knew but I wanted to still go through them to make sure, then I didn't have enough patience for the rest of it cause I got bored and started to think "this isn't gonna help me".
The conclusion is, I'm depressed, unmotivated, I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I don't wanna end up graduating from uni and become a waiter (I've tried working at several jobs during summer vacations, I couldn't stand any of them so I can't even become a waiter). I need guidance from someone that actually cares and will actually help me through, like a wise motivation buddy, I guess, since I don't see any hope in me succeeding anything by myself at this point. I doubt if anyone will even read this tho.