So I was sitting in my technical writing course, and the professor is talking about a paper we turned in last week. So she says, "..and those of you who did so-and-so after I told you not to.." *looks directly at me* "..failed the paper."
The really funny part is, I didn't (and don't) really care. I'll probably drop out of college either this semester or the next, simply because I really don't care. I guess its just a means to an end for me, the end being having a job (or two) to get money to live off of. I've no real life goals or motivations or anything.
I guess the only way to describe how I feel is "detached". I feel alone - I walk down the street every day with no expectations of myself, no plans for anything. People pass me, talking of what they'll be doing in a month, or a year, or a decade. And I sit there wondering what kind of dressing I'll put on my salad for lunch.
Dysfunctionality. To me, its defined solely by the actions of everyone else; who are they to define how the rest of us behave? Why does everything have to be so cut-and-dry: do this, benefit. Do that, benefit. A system of rules, complicated redundant and pointless.
In any case, the end game is constant - I get a job. I make money. I grow old and die, perhaps leaving progeny behind to continue the vicious cycle of growth, production, and death. A needless slave bounded to a society bent on material gain.
As a completely unrelated side note, I'm considering writing an article (slash series of articles, though it shouldn't be that long) on how to write a GUI system. Partially because I need to review its inner workings again. It should be interesting.
I'm off to go get that salad I was fanatising about. Mmm... with a nice vinagrette dressing. That'll do nicely :)