So I finally got off my ass and did my taxes this year.


My refund? A whopping $1.

I feel like the guy in "Adventures in Babysitting".


"There you are, one stitch, all better."
"One stitch?!"
"Oh, yes, one stitch."
"My only shot at ever being in a gang fight and all I get is one stitch?!"


A full 13.6% of my income was wasted away as taxes. Of course, that doesn't count the ungodly amounts of sales tax I doled out during the course of the year as well (now 8.25%, and my county is going to vote on a 1% increase soon).



Since I bought a bunch of dead Iraqi's with my tax money, I was thinking of mailing the government and asking them to send me some authentic certificates of ownership. I'll hang them on my mantle. They'd say "This certifies that Ron personally paid for X dead Iraqi's".


I'm just kidding. I don't have a mantle.