So damn, I've been thinking a lot about how I learn and how I apply what I learn. Motivated by one of those threads that started out there about 'sucky programmers'. I sat and thought to myself how I actually learn... No wonder why I screw up on my math class so much. No wonder why I just drop the idea of CS and move over to IS...
I was in special education classes for a majority of my schooling career and everyday it was stressed, "Here is the topic, do it this way, rinse and repeat"... Hardly ever was I actually forced to think on my own.
Now, I quickly find myself finding material(source code, etc), reading it, and re-applying it. Not thinking much at all about 'how' things were done. Well. Dang it. If I want to be a programmer I've got to learn to overcome this problem. I need to go read the reasoning behind why some things are done, and then turn around an apply it. NOT force myself to actually understand how something is actually done by source code. I need to understand how it is working. It's going to be a royal pain in the ass to just flip backwards and start teaching myself how to 'think' for myself when it comes to really technical issues, but I've got too.
I love creating and designing things, so being a designer wouldn't be bad. But, I really think I enjoy programming a lot to actually be a programmer. It's fun and I enjoy making things happen with a PC. Now, if' i'm good at it or not is to be determined and as far as I'm considered, I'm in the wanna-be pool.
So I'm definitely going to take a step back and think, overall, about what I know and what I can learn to actually start making progress with MY OWN source code. Sure, this editor was designed by my own source code, but as far as game related (besides some tic tac toe game), I never really thought for myself and created something from my own mind. I don't know if I blame that on my in-experience or on the way I was tought to learn concepts in school... Either way... I know what I've got to do and I need to do it.
With that said, i'm going to be using my lovely little whiteboard that i got (whiteboards are great), to do some brainstorming with and actually figure out what the hell im going to do.
Hope I dont regret this post tomorrow.. haha. I blame raymond for influencing me into trying out some new wine. LOL ;)