I have decided to embrace religion. My life as an agnostic is empty and dull, so I figure adding an imaginary diety to my life will cause some enjoyment.
The problem, however, is that there are so many good (and bad!) dieties to choose from! Obviously I can't be omnistic; many Gods require mutual exclusivivivity, which is unfortunate, since that means I can't simply pull the awesome parts out of every religion and combine them all into one uberreligion.
So I have an offer.
I will join the first church to offer me a free lifetime supply of pancakes. To prove my humbleness, I've decided that I can supply my own syrup and toppings. But the free lifetime supply of pancakes is mandatory.
Let the offers commence!