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I have an offer!

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Yes, that's right, I have an offer so tempting that none could possibly refuse!

I have decided to embrace religion. My life as an agnostic is empty and dull, so I figure adding an imaginary diety to my life will cause some enjoyment.


The problem, however, is that there are so many good (and bad!) dieties to choose from! Obviously I can't be omnistic; many Gods require mutual exclusivivivity, which is unfortunate, since that means I can't simply pull the awesome parts out of every religion and combine them all into one uberreligion.


So I have an offer.

I will join the first church to offer me a free lifetime supply of pancakes. To prove my humbleness, I've decided that I can supply my own syrup and toppings. But the free lifetime supply of pancakes is mandatory.

Let the offers commence!
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I don't like beer, and strippers are skanky.


I'd get much more enjoyment out of pancakes.

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Try scientology, you can get pancakes delivered to your house by intergalactic spirit beings.

Or perhaps I'll startup Pancakeology, I'll happily provide the pancakes, however you must relinquish 25% of your salary to the church of pancakeology. For life.








disclaimer: if you're a scientologist, 1. don't throw a hissy fit cause I made fun of your "religion" 2. stop whining and go watch mission impossible 3. if the movie wasn't enough, go measure your midichlorians

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Original post by Mushu
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I don't like beer

WHAT?! [wow]


I wonder what pancackes & beer would taste like....


HMMMM..... beer pancakes....

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Original post by VisualLR
I wonder what pancackes & beer would taste like....


HMMMM..... beer pancakes....


Wouldn't it be 'beercakes'? At least that's what I would call them [grin].

Quote:
Original post by Mushu
Quote:
I don't like beer

WHAT?! [wow]

Beer = gross [razz] (well, most beer anyway)

How about this. I'll give you a lifetime supply of pancakes, but to join my cul... er... religion you must vow never to eat another pancake in your entire life. Plus a weekly donation of all your money minus 1 USD (you have to eat sometime, can't have all of my followers dying.)

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The Church of the Immaculate Ravuya™ teaches that the pancakes have been inside you all along, and you must focus on Ravuyanetics™, our secret martial arts exercises, to release your hidden Pancake Energy™.

Join us or die™.

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Original post by johnhattan
Flying Spaghetti Monster = beer volcano and stripper factory
SFM FTW!

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Original post by johnhattan
Flying Spaghetti Monster = beer volcano and stripper factory


Not to mention that a spaghetti monster would be appropriate if Mith is looking to worship a diety.

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Original post by Mithrandir
I don't like beer, and strippers are skanky.


I'd get much more enjoyment out of pancakes.
Some choose celibacy, and some have it forced upon them.

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Original post by Mithrandir
I don't like beer, and strippers are skanky.


I'd get much more enjoyment out of pancakes.
Some choose celibacy, and some have it forced upon them.

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