It started out with the nagging thoughts, but those weren't too bad. I told myself I could handle them. I told myself "Apoch, you're a rational adult, and you have plenty of self control; just block this stuff out." That worked for a while, but then it got worse... once the headaches started, I knew I was in trouble.
Still, though, like a fool, I've tried to ignore it. I've tried to mask the problem, run away from it, just plain drown it out with other things. After the muscle twitches began in earnest, I knew that wouldn't work for long, but I still didn't want to compromise my pride and admit my weakness.
I told myself I could handle the spasms... just turn away, walk out of the room, whatever. I told myself I could handle the nightmares, the waking cold and yelling about horrors beyond words.
Alas, it was not to be, and I must now confess my weakness.
I'm having hardware withdrawals. After so many hours dreaming happilly - euphorically - about dual core processors, blazing fast RAM, hundreds of gigabytes of storage... I just can't cope with not having it. Even the old high of the new laptop just doesn't quite give me the rush it once did.
I don't know if I can make it another month... I really want to save some cash by letting the market do its capitalist thing once Conroe comes out, but it's just so darn hard.
Please... please, just tell me I'm not alone. Tell me someone understands.