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Announcing a new technology

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johnhattan

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I'm proud to announce my latest technological advance here. You heard it first!

I's called the HD-LIT. It's a new higher definition way to read. Before you dismiss this technology as simply being a book printed on smoother pages with a higher-definition printer, thus making the print sharper, there are plenty of other advantages.

It's sharper printing, but it's much much more!

The first HD-LIT release, an update of To Kill A Mockingbird contains the story told from MULTIPLE ANGLES! That's right. With the old low-quality way of reading To Kill A Mockingbird, you could only experience the story from the point of view of the little girl, Scout Finch. The new HD-LIT format, however, allows you the much richer experience of being able to switch from angle to angle at any time. At the top of each page, there's a mini-index that allows you to instantaneously switch the point of view to that of Atticus Finch, Tom Robinson, or even Boo Radley (which consist mostly of descriptions of the inside of his room).

In addition to that, with the new Publisher's Cut(tm) format, you get the story without all of the missing bits that the author left out! Included with the book are a series of whimsical subplots that give you a deeper and richer storytelling experience. Disappointed with the scene where Scout went to the school play dressed as a ham, but you never actually got to see the wacky misadventures of the construction of the ham costume? Well now it's there! You'll be in stitches reading about how Scout and Atticus purchased the costume materials and stitched them together, and the hijinks that happened when when Scout used too much glue and accidentally glued her shoe to the floor!

Included also are pages and pages of the author's notes, showing the words that she carefully chose over others to craft the narrative. You can read the alternate rough-draft version instead, with typos intact, just as the author didn't intend for it to be read.

Also included are six alternate HD-LIT endings. Don't like the downer ending? Well then read the "Tom Robinson is found not guilty" ending. Chuckle along with us with the "Atticus Finch is bitten by that rabid dog and delivers a hilariously incoherent closing statement" ending.

Yes, the new HD-LIT technology gives authors true freedom in storytelling that you've never seen and they never intended. No longer are you locked into the traditional (read archaic) methods of storytelling and narrative. With HD-LIT, you can make the story flow the way YOU want it to flow, not in the way some writer intended it.

The new HD-LIT version of To Kill A Mockingbird will be available at your local bookstore in October.

Price $54.95.

1652 pages.
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Your bitter, old-age remarks remind me of my imminent crankiness. I greatly appreciate them because I think that HD-DVD and Blu-Ray are a load of hooey as well.

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