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Oh, the pain!

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Mithrandir

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So, this weekend it was too hot to do anything after my morning workouts, and I ended up just vegging out for most of the two days. I got 4 pages of a design doc done, but unfortunately my design docs tend to be more along the lines of disjointed unconnected ramblings about things that are either blatantly obvious or just plain nonsense, than an ordered and constructive document.

So I decided to watch the tele for a bit. I was bombarded with endless commercials for medicines and exercise workout videos.

The thing that struck me first was one commercial about a popular pain reliever. I honestly can't remember which one (shows how well advertising works on me!), but there was this guy, complaining about all the aches and pains in his life. He has kids, so he needs one pain reliever for that. Then he takes Yoga, and needs a different pain reliever for that. Next he takes up bicycling and needs another pain reliever for that too!

Now, I want to know what the hell I am doing wrong. See, I've been bicycling since March again, and for the month of July, I've exercised 24 days out of the first 30, and I'm going to do another ~10 miles tonight when I get out of work. But, I am not in excruciating pain! In fact, I'm not in any pain at all!

...

I've always just assumed it was normal for people to never take pain relievers except in extreme cases. But, I lived in a small little bubble for the first 3/4's of my life, and when I got out into the real world, I noticed that many people actually do take pain relievers all the time. My ex used to take a minimum of 4 advil a day, and at times went all the way up to 10 or 12. At first I thought I should take this as a warning sign, but she assured me that it's normal behaviour; but after the things that ended up ending that relationship, I've since begun to wonder again if maybe all that pill popping really should have been a warning sign.

But here at work, you can routinely hear people hitting their bottles of pills. So is it really that weird? Maybe I'm the weird one. I can count on one hand the number of pain relievers I've taken this year (2 advil, if you're wondering).


*shrug*

Maybe Tylenol/Aspirin/Advil/etc, are Soma.





The weekend workout-video commercials are funny. And full of crap, too. The worst one was a commercial where this military guy is selling his flavour of "tai-bo karate turborobics" which he garantees will show you instantaneous results. They showed one lady who said that she lost 10 inches (10 inches!!) from her waist in the first 7 days of the program. What the fuck? That's not even physically possible unless you had an unfortunate encounter with a live mortar round sometime during the week. How the hell can these people lie and get away with it?

So confusing. And stupid. You don't need some special $100 workout plan video to lose weight. Just get up and walk around you lazy dopes. Or buy a bike.




I learned this weekend that Vodka is a positively vile liquid. I also learned how to play poker finally, but lost in my 6th round by going all in on a pair of aces. The guy who beat me had bluffed his way to a win for the first 5 rounds on holding a mere "high card", and it just figures that the one time I tried calling his bluff, he actually had a good hand. Harrumph.

I shall learn how to play this game better. :)




Casting for David Lynch's imaginary 9/11 movie has begun:

cast:
Kyle McLachlan as Osama bin Laden
Dennis Hopper as Donald Rumsfeld/George W. Bush/Dick Cheney
Keanu Reeves as Kyle McLachlan
Pam Grier as Condoleeza Rice
David Bowie as Rudy Guiliani
Harry Dean Stanton as Ronald Reagan
Michael Massee as Khalid Shaikh Mohammed
Ray Wise as Leland Palmer
Willem Dafoe as Completely Insane Person in Hallucination
Brad Dourif as Colin Powell
Patrick Stewart as Tony Blair
Mel Gibson as Saddam Hussein
The Ghost of Jack Nance as Himself
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Quote:
Ray Wise as Leland Palmer
[lol]
Leland Palmer is more like your President than words can say. Especially the creepy, psycho-Bob version of him from Fire Walk With Me.

George to Bush Twins: "Heeeeeeerrreeee's Georgie!"

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How to make Vodka yum. . .

1. one can of frozen orange juice (keep frozen)
2. handful of ice cubes
3. about six shots of vodka (experiment until you get the right ratio)

Dump all in blender and blend, adding water occasionally until you have a nice big frozen screwdriver. Pour a glass and put the rest in the freezer, lest it melt and turn into an ordinary screwdriver.

Easily serves two. It's good if you have a date, because it's not too sweet-n-girly that you won't enjoy it, and it's not so stout that she won't like it. It's just right. It's also dirt-simple to make, unlike most other frozen juice drinks.


Edit: Don't bother using expensive Vodka to make this. Expensive vodka is only useful if you're drinking it straight. This'll taste exactly the same if you use $40 vodka or $10 vodka, so go with the cheap stuff.

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HEAD ON: APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD!
HEAD ON: APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD!
HEAD ON: APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD!
HEAD ON: APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD!

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Guest Anonymous Poster

Posted

Quote:
Original post by DukeAtreides076
HEAD ON: APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD!
HEAD ON: APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD!
HEAD ON: APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD!
HEAD ON: APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD!


I believe she only says it 3 times.

- mattd, too lazy to log in

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