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I'm the decider, and I decide that YOU MUST SHOP!

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johnhattan

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"I encourage you all to go shopping more." - George Dubya "I'm The Decider" Bush

First off, I'm glad to see that The Commander-In-Chief has decided to join them leebral secularists in the 2007 campaign in the War on Christmas.

It ain't about Jesus, folks. It's about keeping the wheels of commerce from coming off!


Iraq is grave and deteriorating (quoth the bipartisan committee). Mind you, I haven't yet read the report, but I don't recall hearing that the short-term solution is for all Americans to raise their short-term debt by buying some plastic bits and bobs for their kids.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't see how me creating a bit of new short-term high-interest debt by going down to a department store and purchasing a Chinese-made Dora The Explorer doll is anything but a temporary solution.

But hey, I ain't an economist. If increasing Americans' personal high-interest debt (which directly increases personal bankruptcies (which directly raises interest rates (which directly drives us into a recession (which directly makes it even MORE abundantly clear that the US's horse in the global culture-war hasn't been in the race since the fall of the Berlin Wall (which gives me hope that I'll live long enough to see the two remaining competitors battle it out (which are the EU and China (which are funded largely by us (which is ironic))))))) is actually GOOD for America, who am I to question?



I'm picturing one of those "Rosie The Riveter" posters from WWII, except in this case Rosie isn't shown giving the thumbs-up to our troops while bolting a gun-turret to a B-29, but she's running her credit card through the scanner at Target so she can get that Robo-Sapien and the Nintendo Wii.



Well, maybe I'm thinking about this all wrong. George Dubya "resign yourself to the fact that history will record you as the worst president ever because Millard Fillmore ain't even CLOSE anymore" Bush only told Americans to "go shopping more" and not "go buy more things". Shopping itself is the process in which you enter stores and look at items available for purchase, not necessarily to purchase them.

In fact, I was already planning to do a little shopping with Maggie this weekend, given that she's outta school and her mommy has a big project due next week. Mind you, I didn't plan to BUY anything, except maybe a Latte.

Seems like that's the best solution that will keep my personal debt in-check while still being a good American per the wishes of my Commander-in-Chief, "The Decider".

So that's my short-term plan to support our boys in Iraq. This weekend I will do very much shopping, but I will buy nothing!

I am John Hattan, Good American, and I approved this message.
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Wait, how is buying shit helping the soldiers in Iraq?

Sounds more like it'd keep the American economy from imploding from the stress that The Decider has put it under as a result of the war, not actually help the military buy trivial things like armoured personnel carriers, body armour and weaponry.

I don't see how anyone, even those connected with Halliburton, can possibly justify the war in Iraq. It's just completely cluster-fucked and we don't have a hope in Hell of rolling it back in before it explodes in our faces.

Maybe there's a "trickle down effect" at work here; we fund the Chinese, the Chinese buy more nuclear warheads, and then they start a different war to take everyone's minds off this one so the US can quietly withdraw their troops without too much fuss. It worked in Afghanistan!

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