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Please, rednecks, learn to drive.

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ApochPiQ

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This is a public service rage announcement to all American drivers. Believe me, if you are a native U.S. citizen and operate a motor vehicle, you need to read this. You need to read it triple if you live in Georgia.


I'm going to be brief and to the point: learn what a pedestrian is, and how to interact appropriately with them while you are driving.

Things which you should not do:

  • Slow down as if your car just caught fire. I know it's rare to see people using their legs in this country of lard-assed retards, but please, stop hitting the brakes. It makes me wonder if something important is going on, and I dislike checking over my shoulder every 20 seconds to make sure someone isn't about to stick a knife in my back.

  • Veer wildly into the other lane. I'm five feet away from you, and likely on a sidewalk. You're not going to hit me. You may, however, hit the poor person who is driving in the other lane.

  • Flash your headlights in my face. I know you're coming, you inconsiderate prick. I could hear your car half a block away and see the lights from even farther. Also, having two high-power halogens pointed into your eyes hurts. I swear, every time someone does this, I want to drag them out of their car by the hair and pulse a few megawatts of laser revenge into their retinas.

  • Roll down the window and yell. Again, I know I'm a rare sight. Please don't remind me.

  • Honk wildly as if I just did something wrong. Look, I'm just trying to cross the damn street. I was still twenty metres away from you by the time I got to the other side of the road; there's not a chance in hell I endangered you in any way. Don't lay on the horn like I did something stupid.


Things which you should do:

  • Just drive your stupid car and pretend I'm not there. You probably are too busy yapping on the phone to have seen me in the first place, so I'll take responsibility for getting out of your fool way, should that become necessary.




In related news, I hate this city, and wish everyone would drop dead, or learn how to drive (in order of descending preference).

This has been a public rage announcement. Thank you.
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At some point during the last two years, crossing the road at a controlled crossing (you know, with flashy lights) became impossible.

Where the hell are the cops in this city?

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Quote:
Original post by Ravuya
At some point during the last two years, crossing the road at a controlled crossing (you know, with flashy lights) became impossible.

Where the hell are the cops in this city?


They're out busting jaywalkers by Banker's Hall. No, seriously. I've seen this happen. Hell while I was working down there I saw gangs of cops just walking around. The Calgary police are a force to be reckoned with... when they get around to it.

Quote:
Original post by ApochPiQ
In related news, I hate this city, and wish everyone would drop dead, or learn how to drive (in order of descending preference).


I know you feel, it's not just confined to the US. When I drive to work in the morning I just feel the urge to murder. There are some seriously stupid drivers everywhere. What's sad is that a lot of these people are probably semi-self-aware (i.e. not drooling on their person) when they're not driving.

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Simple answer - make fuel ("gas") the same price in the USA as it is here in the UK. Then no one will be able to afford to drive, people will start walking ("fitter, happier" by Radiohead comes to mind for some reason...) and problem solved [grin]

Well, probably not. But it'd be a funny experiment nonetheless.

Jack

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You know, I'm all for that.

There's a Wal-Mart literally about 400m away from where I live. I walk there for groceries all the time, when I just need something small and it isn't worth going somewhere cheaper like Costco.

A couple friends of mine give me looks like I have eight heads (not just two heads, mind you - eight heads) when I mention this. One actually had the gall to ask "Why would you walk there? Don't you have a car?"


*sigh*


Ironically, it's actually safer to jaywalk around here than it is to cross the street in the "right" places.

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