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Metal

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capn_midnight

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So, I'm driving in my Fiji Blue 2008 Honda Civic Si to work at the Conservatory for Bad-Assery one morning along this really sick-ass section of road that runs along a cliff face plummeting down into this deep ravine full of rocks and trees and shit like out of a movie like Lord of the Rings or something, when this giant, fire-breathing dragon comes screaming in from deep, dark corner of the chasm, like it's some kind of chasm of despair, and starts hovering right in front of me on the road. I'm like, "ohshitohshitohfuckohshit" and really starting to freak out when I remember, "hey, I've got a fucking rocket launcher, I mean seriously, who doesn't amiright?" So, I hoist this rocket launcher up on my shoulder as I'm standing up out of my sunroof and blast a billboard on the side of the road, the billboard falls down, I punch the gas on my car and totally use the billboard to ramp up and over this gigantic dragon, like whoa, and the dragon is looking up at me as I'm flipping through the air and I can see the look in its eye, and the dragon is totally saying, "hoooolyyyyy shiiiiiit," and I'm all, "oooooh shiiiiit," and as I'm just over the dragon I say "yooooou shall not paaass" and I shoot my biggest heat seeking rocket right at the dragon's tonsils. The rocket flies right down his throat and EXPLODES in his stomache, raining down this mass of blood and guts and bubbles and jet fuel and shit everywhere.


It was fucking metal.
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So you expect us to believe that there just happened to be a billboard there for you to shoot? Come on, the odds of that are just incredible.....

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