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Blogging around the GameDev Tree

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I want to continue the tradition of me posting every Wednesday, but I don't really have much to say so I decided to do a bloggish thingie:

Meh. I'm in a weird state right now: I notice my behavior is very similar to a time when I was seriously depressed with everything, but I don't feel the same way emotionally. Previously, I felt a kind of complete void and was practically emotionless the whole time, but now I merely have muted emotions and an overall kind of peaceful contentment. Either way it sucks, because intelectually I want to work on about 50 projects (or at the very least, 1 of my 50 projects), but I can't force myself to work on any of them for even a few minute a day. Essentially I sit here and waste all my spare time on doing absolutely nothing.
Each day, I drive to school (45 minutes away), sit in class and wonder why everybody else doesn't understand the obvious points being made, then work between classes churning out code for my employer, then back to classes marveling at how stupid everybody else seems to be, then I come home and watch TV, read books, and surf the web in such a way so as to complete as little as possible. Plenty of my current projects involve learning things, but of course I don't visit any website or read any book that would actually help me learn anything.

I've also felt really slow lately. In my differential equations class I've had problems remebering basic algebra a few times, and it is REALLY annoying. For some reason that mental fuzz very slightly lessens when I'm helping my friends with their homework, but I can still have problems remebering the most basic of facts relating to math. For some reason it seems to mainly to affect math, but I still feel at least slightly slower than I used to be in pretty much everything. I also feel that I've lost some of my creative edge - for a while I was having tons of ideas for things to do {project wise} but now I don't think about much of anything often and while I still intellectually want to learn stuff I don't bother doing so and when I think of stuff I want to learn I can't really think of any reason to learn it (unlike not too long ago when I could come up with tons of ways to use everything).
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Sounds to me like you can't be arsed. If it is any comfort I have been that way for months. You can accentuate the fuzzy mind / thought process thing by drinking alcohol frequently, so be warned. Eventually you'll hate your job too.

I tend to snap out of it from time to time though and my interest in things just picks up for no reason!

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Original post by __Daedalus__
Sounds to me like you can't be arsed. If it is any comfort I have been that way for months. You can accentuate the fuzzy mind / thought process thing by drinking alcohol frequently, so be warned. Eventually you'll hate your job too.

I tend to snap out of it from time to time though and my interest in things just picks up for no reason!
I'm under drinking age, and being the Good Kid™ that I am, I don't drink alcohol at all (nor do I have the vice of smoking or taking drugs {legal or not}). It has been a LONG time since I've snapped out of it. I have become actually interested in things from time to time, but that ends long before I actually acomplish anything. I already dislike my job some, but I'm not going into details. At the very least, I'd much rather have some nice free time between classes to be able to pretend to do stuff (I'd want to do stuff, but it is unlikely I'd actually do it)

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