I recall when I was trying to learn C++ years ago that I always wanted to go one level lower, so I'd want to know how my compiler knows what an int is and how it was defined to be. Learning in C# I'm finding this more of a 'problem' because I'm working on a higher level and part of me thinks well I really should go and see how MessageBox.Show was created as I don't really like using things I don't fully understand.
This creates an internal struggle in my head where the logical part of me says "you just want to make games, non professionally as hobby, does it really matter?" but then this other part of me wants to get into the nitty gritty, even if I cannot understand why I want to know some of these things. For example, I can happily display an image on a Windows form in 10s, I used to study pages and pages of my C++ textbooks on how to create a window using.... win32 something, but when I finally got that window up and some text I felt like I'd accomplished something. I don't get that feeling using C# which is a shame as I miss that sense of accomplishment. I suppose as I get better and actually start to make bits of a game then the feeling may come back but I take no personal pleasure from getting a ball to bounce in Unity. This makes me question if it's the journey or the destination that will bring me the most satisfaction. Realistically I know I'll never be able to create my own game engine so really I should be grateful that tools like Unity exist.
So I continue thinking about all this and then I look at the clock and an hour has passed and I've not learned anything.
