Over the past six weeks I’ve been soul searching. This is a hard blog for me to publish, I’m going to be opening up about my past and writing about some of my deep insecurities and shortcomings, along with how being apart of GameDev has helped me find some personal progress. I’m going to be reaching far back into my past to provide some context. I have tried my best to reduce the personal drama.
My mother wanted to give me the best education she could here in Canada and so she chose to enroll me in French immersion. I struggled and failed Kindergarten. My earliest friends moved on. By grade three I was struggling with both French and English. I was given two options, I could either repeat grade three or change to the English only program. Either way I had to part ways with more friends. I had learned to become unsure of myself. Measuring true personal growth had become dusted over like neglected instrument gauges in need of a cleanse.
I found solace in my imagination and it became my trusted companion.
In my early teens I started to recognised some of my abilities, discovering things I had not noticed before. I started to receive encouraging complements from others and like any teenager I let it get to my head and neglected the gauges.
I decided to start programming a game to help answer some of the questions that have nagged at me for so long. When will I find some meaningful confidence and How can I start to clean these dusty gauges?
On March 7th I finally answered the first question. I had found the personal confidence, It was good enough for me. By end of March I began to see the answer to the second question. Regretfully the answer is not found sitting in front of a computer.
I’m not leaving, but for a while I need to focus on some personal growth.
Opening up about my ideas in 2014 was a big step for me. I am truly thankful for all the kind words, support and encouragement over these past 5 years. It’s been a blessing. I wanted to share these words with you because my friends should be in the know