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The battle of the Johns!

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johnhattan

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Sorry, but I just couldn't resist. After reading BitchX and the New York Times article, I had to pile on. In a weird attempt at humor, I have put together

The Battle of the Johns!

Note: Apparently, there is a third "John" who develops games in D/FW. Last name, "Carmack" or something like that. Never heard of him :)

































































































































































































Name

John Romero



John Hattan

Company

ION Storm



The Code Zone

Age

31



32

Games produced

Slightly more violent than "Natural Born Killers"



Slightly less violent than Windows Solitaire

Tagline of latest product

"You will be my bitch"



"NOT Shareware!"

Frame

short, pudgy



tall, pudgy

Hair

long and stringy



tall

Car

yellow 1991 Ferrari Testarossa


"It's got a turbocharged engine"




red 1989 Chevy Astro Van


"It's got a removable seat"


Office

hyper-expensive glass enclosed penthouse in downtown Dallas



Front bedroom of his house in a suburb of Fort Worth

Ego

Rivaled only by God



Develops for the discount rack

Likely to be mobbed by Japanese chicks because he's a legend there

yes



no

Gets faster restaurant service because "people know who he is"

yes



no

Is mentioned in William Shatner's latest book,
FACE="Arial, Helvetica">Get A Life


no



yes

Shoots his mouth off

Often, in whatever newspaper will print him



Occasionally, in his developer diary

Wishes he was

Trent Reznor



Roger Corman

When stressed out

Fires people, sues newspapers



Takes a nap

Likely to be in business this time next year

no



yes



Next week, John Munsch vs. John Romero --who will ship a game first? :)
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