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Things that Suck

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I'm in a bad mood today, so here's a list of

Things That Suck

  • The CueCat. It's a solution to a problem nobody had. They will go bankrupt. Period.
  • Computer add-ons that allow you to add smells to games. Bad idea. 100% doomed.
  • Game-pads and handheld games that vibrate. It doesn't add a damn thing to the experience, so just quit it.
  • Internet-appliance evangelists claiming that the PC is dead. Given the number of aborted internet appliance startups in the last five years, it's clear that the PC ain't going anywhere.
  • Mario-anything. The last time I gave a rat's ass about Mario was when Saturday Night Live was funny, and that was a loooong time ago.
  • Electronic dogs. The Sony Aibo is not a revolutionary new paradigm for pets --it's just another useless home robot.
  • Tomb Raider. The movie will suck because all movies based on videogames suck. You can pretend that this time it'll be different, but you said the same thing about Wing Commander.
  • Game consoles that will convert into all-in-one information appliances next year. Since 1979, when Mattel announced the computer upgrade for the Intellivision, companies have been trying to convince you that you'll be doing your finances on your game console next year. It's not because nobody wants to.
  • Doug Coupland. He doesn't speak for my generation, unless my generation consists entirely of bad writers.
  • HDTV. Promises to do for television what 70mm film did for movies. . .very little.
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