It's taken me long enough, I reckon over 48 hours worth of combined tinkering, but I've finally got frickin' Mono/ASP.NET working with MySQL on my machine. I fired up apache and saw the wonderful site of my crappy test page staring back at me. Now maybe I can reinstall monodevelop and work on my site seriously again. I'm going to have to build MonoDevelop from source as the Ubuntu package manager refuses to install it. I installed my own 1.0.whatever version of Mono, XSP and mod_mono from source and the package manager apparently hates me for it. Ah well - I don't care too much - do you?