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Looking like Dad

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Benjamin Heath


I have two living brothers, one sister, and one first-born brother who was born with a birth defect and died shortly afterward. I'm the youngest, and that's why my parents called me Benjamin. (It means "son of fortune", and Benjamin was Jacob/Israel's youngest son. His offspring, the Benjamites, were warriors famed for being left-handed or ambidextrous. This was (and is) an outstanding quality in a sword fight.)

This spring, I will turn 20 years old. My two brothers will later turn 25 and 30. (All the boys, with the exception of Stephen, the firstborn, are 5 or 10 years apart, give or take a few months.) My father will be turning 56 this year.

Now, I'm really beginning to see that as you grow older, you don't really stop growing or even changing. I'm told that I was born with a full head of jet-black Cherokee hair, but that quickly turned light brown and almost blonde. Now it's getting darker again. My father has said that his hair did the same thing.

As time passes, it's very apparent that many things about me really come from my dad. While I've adopted many of my mom's attitudes and some of her other little quirks, I'm coming to realize just how close I am to my dad. We share many of the same looks; we're both calm and collected public speakers; we share an interest in history, especially in the effects of various religions on it; we both like brunettes with green eyes, etc. ;) The list goes on forever.

My father has a Navy portrait from his service in Vietnam at ~18 years old. Many people look at this and comment that he looks just like me in that picture. (The sad note is that it was his service in the war that would cause the death of his first son.)

I have inherited a lot of things from my family's past. With roots in Scotland and Ireland, Germany and America, Asia and the Middle East, I continue to learn of past dealings of the families that I come from. My name is starting to carry a deeper meaning to me, and, at times, a sad one. But the Sun hasn't faded yet.


PS: I'm in love. She is the most beautiful young woman I know. I don't know how else to put it, or even if I really should, on this journal. It's everything about her: her Mayan nose, her long brown hair, and a firm and very spiritual mind. I am in midair with this woman.
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I remember going through a similar phase of realization about how strongly similar in many respects I am to my father. Initially, I fought it like many rebellions teenagers do when they're trying to establish their own unique identity, but as I grew older and matured I came to embrace and appreciate the quirks and manners nuances that I picked up from him. Of course, it also gives me a convenient target to blame for my inadequacies as well. [grin]

Hang on to the girl, if she means that much to you. I wish you the best.

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Woah - hell of a first entry!

I've fought against a left-handed person weilding a sword (not a real one, obviously). Yea, it completely sucks. Change "was" to "is"

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Woah - hell of a first entry!

I've fought against a left-handed person weilding a sword (not a real one, obviously). Yea, it completely sucks. Change "was" to "is"

LOL. I considered posting this in the lounge, but that's not really the place for this. Either way, I don't like seeing these journals that are flooded with "rants." Put some meaning into it if you're actually going to write it.

edit: Made changes to entry. Thanks Gaiiden.

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