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Homeopathic UberCoffee!

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I just realized that I, using homeopathic methods, have been cultivating the most powerful coffee in existence.

You see, one of the cornerstones of homeopathy is that the more you dilute something, the more powerful it becomes. Homeopathic scienticians do this by putting a single drop of somesuch healing herb in a tube of water, shaking it up, then transferring a single drop of the newly diluted mixture into another tube of water, and repeating the process over and over.

Now then, statistics will show that once you get up to about 30 drop-to-tube transfers (which homeopaths consider to be a really strong concentration), there's likely not even one molecule of the original herb in the tube of water, but by some unexplained process, the water itself has taken on the properties of the herb and is not well-shaken water but is actually SUPER STRONG MEDICINE!!!

I just noticed that I'm using a similar process when making coffee. We usually wait until our local store offers a deal on ten 1-pound cans of coffee for $10, so I always have several small cans of coffee in reserve.

Whenever a can gets down to one or two teaspoons of coffee, I open up a new can, and here's the important part. After opening up the new can, I pour the remaining bits of coffee from the previous can into the new can. That means that my "new" can of coffee isn't really new, but is my original coffee diluted into another can. I have repeated this process for at least a dozen cans now, so it's pretty unlikely that there's even a single grain of coffee from can number one remaining. According to homeopathic scientistics, the coffee has been taking on the capabilities of the coffee from can number one and has been progressively growing stronger with each transfer. Once I get up to true homeopathic strength of 20-50 transfers, I should have the most powerful coffee in existence!
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After reading this post, I no longer feel like a nerd for my numerology post...

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By this logic I must have the best water of all time right in my fish tank.

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You realize now that I can't allow you to continue with your quest for coffee power. It would destabilize the world economy and upset the true rulers of capitalism.

The ninjas will be in your home shortly, do not resist.

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It would destabilize the world economy and upset the true rulers of capitalism.

What do the McDonald's Fry Guys(tm) have to do with this?

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Be careful John. You're screwing with Mother Nature here and she can be a very harsh mistress.

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