Maybe it's because I did myself some damage with black pepper (*) and am feeling a bit ill, but the whole apathy thing is really kicking me this week.
Normally I reserve my apathy for the whole politics and society thing, but every now and then I sit down at my computer and think "No really, why the hell do I bother? What am I actually trying to do here?".
Usually it passes in a few days, so I should quit whining.
I've come to the conclusion that it's a crisis of inspiration. Some days, most days, I see the work of the industry greats (and I don't necessarily mean gaming, but multimedia as a whole) and think, maybe naively "yeah, I wanna be like them. I will be like them". Then I flip the other way and think - they have more time, more resources, maybe in my current position I just can't achieve what they have...
I've got a couple of job/position applications on the go at the moment, not entirely sure I can say anything about them, and they're annoying me.
I'm on a placement at the moment - I like to think I did good and that I might stand a chance at getting a graduate job. But it's looking more likely that I'll have to go elsewhere. Shouldn't be surprised, but apathy again - why bother trying to impress them? [rolleyes]
Anyway, I hoped I'd keep this journal clean of me whinging or moaning about stuff. I'll shut up for now [smile]
I sat down to watch Goodfellas this evening. I love that film.
As far back as I can remember I always wanted to be a gangster.
You know, we always called each other goodfellas. Like, you'd say to somebody: "You're gonna like this guy; he's all right. He's a goodfella. He's one of us." You understand? We were goodfellas, wiseguys.
Good stuff [grin]
Till next time...
(*) Don't ask.