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I've fallen and I can't get up!

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The title is in reference too the fact that my journal had fallen off of the journal page for the first time since I started this journal.

I have to work about twelve hours or more tomorrow night. I'm tired as hell right now, but I have to stay awake so that I can work tomorrow night, and not be tired then. I spent a few days coming up with a cool idea for the 4E4 compo, and as more time goes by, I realize that I'm not going to have time to really complete a submission. Especially considering I haven't even started yet. I could have had plenty of time had I not wasted so much time the last couple of months.

Two days ago, an old friend from highschool shot and killed himself. That is the third friend I've lost to suicide in the last two years. Sad really. He was facing some federal prison time and evidentally decided that Mexico wasn't his cup of tea. I just hope that if anyone out there ever has similair thoughts that they can talk to someone. It seems that the ones that have left us due to these circumstances have been some of the most isolated people I've known. They always had smiles on, but never really talked about anything real or personal to other people. I hope my friends grand parents are doing as well as they can. The funeral is tomorrow, but I have to work, and seeing as I'm the only employee in Ankeny for my job, I can't have anyone cover for me, because there is no one else. It's just the same though. I haven't been one much for funerals lately. I realize death comes for us all, I accept it, it's more so the living that I am more concerned with, and realizing that most of the people that will be at the funeral will mostly be other people who maybe looking at prison time, or just got out of prison. These are people that I've tried to stay away from the past five years, the type of person I once was. Unfortunate, but in my own way, I've already said good bye.

So, I'm going on a new health kick. I've quit smoking again, I've always eaten pretty healthy, I've also quit drinking, (my liver will thank me for that), and I'm starting a new exercise routine tomorrow. I'm not out of shape by any means, but I have been rather excesive on the intake of carbon monoxide and alchohol for many years now, and I figure it's better to change my life style now, then later ,or never.

I haven't gotten shit done on C.F.L. this last week, and in fact I'm still on the same task list from a month ago. I also want to start working with some animation stuff once again. I've dabbled with animation in the past, but really have never made a hudge amount of progress. Maybe I'll work on some animations for Phoenix, and DecipherOne Productions.

Oh, and one last thing. My Never Winter Nights executable continues to crash. It may take it like two or three hours, but it does crash non the less. I'm thinking of writing BioWare and complaining. I've got a pretty mean machine, so I know that's not the problem. It's just frustrating everytime I'm in the middle of an epic quest and, oh were sorry, your executable doesn't want to work any more. Oh what's that , you forgot to quick save the last twenty minutes of gameplay? Muhha ha!
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