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expensive time-consuming dog-poop

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johnhattan

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It's a long read, but if you get a chance, check out this insider's look at the monumental 15-year disaster that is Hollywood's attempt to bring Superman back to the big screen.

part 1
part 2
part 3
part 4

It's absolutely amazing the monumental egos and the amount of dollars that have been poured into this monstrosity. We're talking about $50-$75 million to create nothing. Actors being paid enormous sums to not act. Writers paid to write script after script after script that'll never be made. So-called independent observers revealed to be studio toadies.

Will it all be worth it?

Of course it will. Not that the movie will be good. Whether the movie is watchable or not doesn't matter in the slightest, because every 18 year-old boy in America will queue up for it no matter how much it blows, as long as it has a cool trailer and poster (exhibit A, exhibit B). Even if it sucks, it'll make enough in tickets, video sales, and licensing its image on every flat surface on the universe to make up any cost overruns, no matter how huge.

And I'm gonna get into this. Here's my pitch.

You, a Hollywood money-guy, have lots more money than sense and you intend to drop tons of cash on hack producers, hack directors, hack writers, and hack actors to try to get your latest blockbuster off the ground. Rather than spending ten years and $50 million dollars, hire me. Give me one month and two million dollars, and I will present you with a box of dog poop. Mind you, a box of dog poop isn't worth a month of your time or two million dollars of your money, but it's more than you got from those other guys, and with much less time and money.

I'll even join the union if that's required.

Get your checks in now. This offer won't be around forever.
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I read that too earlier today. I knew it was a train wreck but I did not realize the magnitude of it until that article.

They should have given Roger Corman that money. He would have made 10-20 films for them that all would have made a modest profit...and would have likely given audiences at least several space lesbian films.

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Heh, I saw it too. Fucking ridiculous.


I lost respect for Timothy Burton after the Planet of the Apes disaster, and this story just reinforced the notion that he's overrated and nothing but a windbag with an ego (not that he's the only one in the story, of course)

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