Well, you certainly *dont* become emotionless. The thing is that the only thing that now keeps you alive is the consumption of blood. This idea carries in itself the same sort of themes that are usually associated with drug-addiction : how far are you ready to go to get the next fix, the impact of your habit on your relationship, the physical impact on your body, and the all consuming thirst. I find the whole concept quite interesting, especially having to feed on people, that you now consider like cattle rather than equals : just because you have different feeding habits, are you really "superior", and "different". What makes you so different ? Is it the teeth ? Is it the lack of regret for killing people ? How do you relate to humanity, how do you hold on to the last remains of your own humanity ?
Naw, it''s *all* about the emotions, and the loss of humanity. Quite the opposite of emotionless or inhuman, IMHO
Sancte Isidore ora pro nobis !
-----------------------------Sancte Isidore ora pro nobis !
quote: Seize of Olympus: The day heaven fell into hell.
Once in the kingdom of Xanar, there was a prosperity and progress. Xanar was one of the most powerful kingdoms in all of Sphere. In its vast land, many swore allegiance to the king. Xanar had powerful lords and knights but the two most powerful were the Sword of Zanzibar and the High Knights of Xanar. In the year of high moon 324, invasions were becoming regular practice along the countryside of Xanar as well as in other countries. Knights and lords were able to aptly defend their lands, but something was unsettling about the various skirmishes. Why were they happening? Who led them? Why now? These were some of the questions being asked. Five years later in 329, the answers come to light at Ceremony of Judges.
“The ceremony seems to be going well. Does it not, Ramses?”, says the King.
“Yes sire, splendid indeed. I wonder what other surprises my liege has in store for us.”, Ramses replies.
The King says smilingly, “You shall see.”
As the night goes on, jesters, magicians, and acrobats filled the room with laughter and glee. The night seems to be in full festive swing. Then it happens....
As a magician turns stone into clay, a spear suddenly pierces his chest. Blood splatters over all those around him. The magician tries desperately to chant a spell to remove the almost 6 inch thick spear, but he goes into shock and falls. The spear holds him up as he resembles the image of a skewed pig. The hall is in panic and disarray. Mercenaries burst through windows setting the curtains aflame as they ride down on them. Jesters who were entertainers now find laughter in slitting the throats of whoever runs in their path. Minsters, some being of defense, land, and ancient scrolls, are captured quickly. Knights and some lords notice this is too organized to be a random raid. The King is taken to his secret bunker which is underground and some ways from the castle, after the magician was speared. Action must now be taken.
The king orders his mages to awaken his High Knights and other soldiers to wipe the vermin once and for all.
His orders are clear, “Kill all of those who bring sacrilege to the Great Hall!”
The mages start an incantation that delivers the message to the knights, lords and countymen in their sleep. Since the raids began, there has always been a plan in case of such an event. All of those who were ready to fight met inside the armory. The High Knights gave everyone their orders. Ra-Ares the Highest Knight of Xanar noticed a group was missing. As the massive group marched out of the armory, they soon realized that this battle was far more sinister in nature than they had imagined.
The moon was set high in the clouds, as if it was meant to bring to light all that was happening. Orcs, ogres, trolls, and elves began to flood the countryside. Each horizon that could be seen glittered with moon-lighted axes and swords. There in the midst of the upcoming chaos was the group Ra-Ares had not seen, the Sword of Zanzibar. What was once grass was now a sea of murderers ready to bathe in blood.
A grand yet destructive battle was now in play. As the soldiers loyal to Xanar looked upon the high moon for guidance and victory, a strange star traveled near it’s vicinity. As soon as the star passed in front of the moon, a large blue flash filled the night sky. When the flash passed, hundreds laid dead and those that were alive fought blanketed with the blood of their enemies. The battle raged fiercely throughout the night. High Knights and Zanzibar Lords fought as if they were competing for life itself. They matched in skill in every way. Neither side gave the advantage. High Knight Celis killed 50 ogres before she was stopped by Dion, a Zanzibar Lord. The two slaughtered another 200, some of them being their own people, before the next wave of attacks started.
Suddenly a woman in a luminous white gown appeared near the castle. She floated in the air for a split second then just as quickly as she appeared disappeared. As Melios, another High Knight, swung an elf over his head with his broadsword, he saw large fireballs blaze across the sky. It was headed for the castle. The beginning of the end had come.
Night had turned to clear day. The castle walls began to burn effortlessly and crumbled. Mercenaries poured into the castle confines looting and destroying everything they came across. The Knights of Xanar were quickly being outnumbered two to one. Defeat was imminent. Ra-Ares and Ramses, leader of the Sword of Zanzibar stood atop a hill in a bitter clash. The two in a stalemate watch the castle and Zanzibar troop storm in blitzkrieg fashion.
“So do you wish to die now, or spend the rest of your years in shame?”, Ramses laughs heartily.
“I’d rather reach in your chest and rip out your spine.”, replies Ra-Ares.
“Ha ha ha! Yes and then you’ll sing a little song and this will be all be over. Ra-Ares, you know this match between us is futile. And unlike you, I can last much longer.”, says Ramses.
“I wonder what he means by that....”, Ra-Ares thinks to himself.
Knowingly unable to finish or end the stand off, Ra-Ares retreats but not before he gives Ramses a deadly blow to his chest. Ra-Ares signals his troops and knights to retreat. As Ra-Ares and his troops pull back, he notices that Ramses stands atop the hill laughing. It is then that Ra-Ares realizes that something else was behind the attack.
The castle burns violently under the moonlight. Humans and subhumans cheer and roar at their victory. The Sword of Zanzibar laughs and proclaim themselves strongest in the land, an unstoppable force, an ungodly power. The High Knights and other survivors of Xanar can do nothing more than watch helplessly and retreat for safer territory. Luck, on this night, was not with them.
.......20 years later. “So I heard they come back today.”, says Ra-Ares.
“From what I’ve heard they have seemed to learn much more than we. I wonder how they will do. Maybe it’s soon to tell.”, replies Richter.
“My sources tell me Celis’ daughter has learned some Eastern arts. They are said to be quite deadly. Speaking of that have you heard anything about the sorceress, Richter?”
“No, actually I haven’t. It is said that the Eastern region also shared the fate as we did 20 years ago. I gather that our “sorceress” is not the only one.”
“Well it seems unlikely that she herself conducted all these at once. Did you hear that....?”
As Ra-Ares, he caught a bow screaming past his face. It was then that the High Knights knew their children had returned. In the same respect, the children realized that they were in the right place. Each child greeted their parent individually. Magnus greeted his father Ra-Ares and apologized for the bow. Ra-Ares thought nothing of it, for he knew it was necessary. As the sun began to set, a great feast began. Dancing and drinks went all around. The High Knights and their children sat together sharing brew, roasted hawk and rat tail.
“I realized that all of us has only parent. Where did the other leave to?” Bella asked quizzically.
“It is a mystery to all of us. Each of our partners shared 5 years with us. Then told us to send each of you to different part of Sphere to learn a warrior art. After that was done, they were never seen again.”, Galau replied to her daughter.
“I see.”, Bella replied.
After the feast, many words were spoken, ideas drawn out, and adventures shared. Night became day and the young warriors were called by their parents for their first challenge.
“Ramses.”, Ra-Ares bellowed.
“Yes, father.”, Ramses answered.
“You are go with the others in Hlmet’s swamp. Bring back the head of the Taurus and it’s master.”
“When shall we be back?”
“Two days time. If you are not back by then we will burn the swamp, whether you are in it or not.”
“Yes, father I understand. Come all, we must destroy the Taurus and on the way talk and eat.” Ramses said happily.
The group of seven went off. The High Knights look on approvingly awaiting their return. In two days time, the seven young warriors might return to meet more challenges only to face the greatest challenge of all, the Sword of Zanzibar. Hopefully Time will be gracious, and Fate will not deal them a heavy hand or even Death.
it''s been awhile since i''ve proofread this. but some critiques, corrections, suggestions would be nice. thanks alot.
I just wish I could read the rest of the stories... It''s hard to stop after the first page or two, especially Alpha, since I really don''t know what''s happening yet
ahw - was not expecting THAT to happen. Like the story, though And your writing style, etc., is simply awesome.
adventuredesign - Love the low-tech part.
Farahdi - Love to read the next chapter. I''m curious what the guys'' purpose is. (Well, I know they''re space-marine ilk, but not what they''re doing)...
wild_pointer - Sounds like Alan Dean Foster''s intro to Codgerspace... He talks about a cheese sandwich and its effects in great (and strangely humorous) detail. I like the cat...
Kellzangel - I''m intrigued... Not entirely sure what''s going on yet (which is good, considering I''ve only read pages one and part of two...) There are a few places that lack the sophistication of most writing; really just a few sentences and phrases. But overall very good...
Anyways, if I ever get around to it, I''ll post something of mine... But I really really like this thread; it''s great to read interesting and varied (and somewhat weird and surprising) writings and having to imagine the rest of the plot and story.
Thanks for giving me something to read! I''m about to go stir-crazy...
-George (red eye)
gsgraham.comSo, no, zebras are not causing hurricanes.
Hey this is still going, cool... I like reading other peoples stuff. Mine has some crappy word choices and sentence structure, I''ll have to work on it.
*blushes* well, thanks I am still fighting to get a handle on the point of view and tense things... I like to change for the sake of variety, but it somehow feels more natural to tell a story in first person. My main difficulty is when I want to do dialogues. I like dialogues, but it''s not exactly simple to integrate them cleanly in the narrative (well, for me, that is.)
Anyway, as I read the stuff here, I am starting to think that it would be nice to have some sort of archive where we could post, and where the reading would be easier. It feels kind of sad that some of the writings would vanish from the horizon after a few weeks (especially given the slow pace of our beloved forum )
Sancte Isidore ora pro nobis !
-----------------------------Sancte Isidore ora pro nobis !
I just wish I could read the rest of the stories... It''s hard to stop after the first page or two, especially Alpha, since I really don''t know what''s happening yet ...
what else do you want to know?
the writing here is exceptional. i hope that i write as well as the others here. i even caught some more errors as i read my little story. hopefully i''ll get it up to snuff soon.
anyway remember keep posting and give critiques (especially on mine :D).
Hmmm, most of my stuff is Anthro Fiction, so fair warning. But here''s another excerpt - Same setting, different viewpoint... This is the writing style I prefer, first person doesn''t feel right when I try to use it.
* * * * *
"Hold them off! At any cost, hold them off!" The commgear in his ear crackled. This was it, then.
For four hours the technicians in the cavern far below had been working feverishly to repair the damage done to the colony ship. The last enemy attack had managed to sweep over the defenders, ignoring them in an attempt to get through to the cavern entrance. Only one squad of troops had made it that far, and they had been more than enough. The explosive charge they''d used had blown a large hole in one of the engines, forcing the ship to shut down until repairs had been complete. Now, with the engines beginning their ten minute cycle to full power, the enemy was launching another attack. He doubted he''d ever find out whether they had detected energy emissions, or just chosen now to attack. He doubted he''d ever care.
The rest of his squad looked to him as he turned towards the battlefield. They weren''t warriors, they were a freighter crew who''d just happened to get caught up in this whole mess. Turning back to face them, he watched their expressions for a moment, letting their trust in him bolster his courage. With one more breath, he gave his orders.
"Akillun, Ornocen. You two man the heavy laser." He paused to watch the two of them nod and head towards the large, immobile weapon. It was a huge target for enemy troops, but the damage it could deal was considered worth the risk by high command. Igrian felt differently, but these were his friends, practically his family. With a shake of his head, he turned to the last two.
"Ursoan. Watch the scanner. I want warning the instant anything that can hit that," he indicated the heavy laser, "begins to move within range." Once again he paused to await acknowledgement before continuing with his orders. "Eshina, you''re with me. We''re going to dig in and shoot anything that moves."
"Dig in here, or up further?" She asked, pointing to a small rise several metres away.
"Here." He stated flatly. If they were going to fight, they were going to fight together. "Okay, comms on everyone." He called out, raising his voice so Akillun and Ornocen could hear. Their acknowledgments came via the commgear in his helmet, Ursoan''s voice sounding distant as he concentrated on the scanner. Nodding to Eshina, he began to dig in. Then they waited.
Not even a minute after they''d moved into position, the sounds of battle began to carry from further to the North. The fake signal seemed to be working well, no one seemed to have even noticed the actual entrance. Appearances, however, can be deceiving.
"Contact! Troops only, moving in. Estimate twenty seconds to visual contact." Ursoan''s voice grew excited, whether in fear or anticipation was something Igrian wasn''t sure he wanted to know. A quick glance at his rifle showed the idiot lights for power and systems were green. At least something was going right today.
"Akillun, Ornocen, fire the gun as soon as you can see a target. Be ready to jump clear the instant I give the word. No heroics people, we''ll survive just fine without em." No sooner had the words left his mouth than the world turned white.
His helmet visor had polarised instantly, saving him from being blinded by the blast of the laser. The weapon was drawing directly off a fusion power plant. Combined with the liquid nitrogen cooling system, it could fire as often as a target presented itself. Experienced crews let it cycle for a few seconds to allow nearby troops the chance to choose a target. They were all experienced by now.
