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Squarefox

--------> Please check this out -------->

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Please check out this webpage. We need your trained eyes to check our wegpage for errors, due the fact that we are no native english speakers. Your opinions are also welcome! http://www.harbinger-entertainment.de Kind Regards, Squarfox

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Yes, the screens are a little bit outdated now. We are currently in the techdemo-stage and the demo keeps looking better from day to day.
We will update this soon.

Squarefox

[edited by - Squarefox on July 29, 2003 6:24:10 AM]

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This site is horrible!
Look at this menu on this site :
http://www.harbinger-entertainment.de/noghal/screenshots.htm

I can''t read those lables, you should kick your designer in his but

No ofense of course (you wanted an opinion)

.:3delavnica.com:. Slovenian digital colture
Another day, another bug

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Since you ask specificaly for help with wording....

Some suggestions:
page: http://www.harbinger-entertainment.de/noghal/human_assassin.htm
- First Paragraph, Second line of the description: change "don not" to "do not"
Second Paragraph, Second line change "good" to "well"

page: http://www.harbinger-entertainment.de/noghal/dwarven_cleric.htm
- change "drinking some beer" to "drink beer"
- "affection to beer, combat and gold of course" to "affection to beer, combat and of course gold".
- "The most" to "Most".
- Change "Therefore they have developed an intense knowledge for mining and combat – also cause they like both." to
- "Therefore they have developed an intense knowledge of mining and combat – also because they like both."
- Maybe change "more gold and better stuff." to more gold and other treasure."


Page: http://www.harbinger-entertainment.de/noghal/elven_archeress.htm
- Remove the second "and" from "With sharpened eyes and superior dexterity the Elven Archeress and is unmatched in ranged combat."
- "The Elves love their freedom, their nature and the art of archery." By "their nature" do you mean the nature of the elves or nature as in the surrounding trees, waterfalls, etc? If you mean nature as in he surrounding trees, waterfalls, etc; remove "their".
- "kind of bows" to "kind of bow"
- maybe change "and intense usage of it." to "and through intense practice"
- "Her skills comprise the ability" I think you mean "Her skills include the ability"
- change "simply sniper them" to "simply snip them"

page: http://www.harbinger-entertainment.de/noghal/xylanthen_mage.htm
Change "In Combat the Mage is unmatched in the use of magic." to "In Combat, the Mage is unmatched in the use of magic."

The graphics are pretty good, but I do have to agree that the lettering on the labels needs to be clearer.

Kars

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German?

Anyways, you might mean for them to be this way, but it isn't English. When you roll over the images at the top (Project Noghal, The Team, Links), you get "Projekt Noghal" and "Das Team" instead of "Project Noghal" and "The Team"...

When you go to the Project Noghal site - there are a few errors:

first: & # 8222 ; gives you a weird quote thing instead of the simple " " that normal people use. Tell you what: Bold is a change:

" Noghal - Forgotten Legends" //FIX QUOTES// is an Action-Adventure-Roleplaying-Game for the PC //REMOVE COMMA, WHICH TO THAT// that uses the proven Nebula-Engine to set the player in the role of a hero of his choice in an absolutely //ADD AN E// epic and dramatic saga //REMOVE COMMA// that plays in the mystic fantasyworld of Noghal.

//ON YOUR WAY WHERE?//
On your way you fight with your sword, axe, spells, and other //CHANGING FORMAT, OR TO AND// weapons against dangerous //REMOVED// enemies and //REMOVED// survive dangers like //SUCH AS TO LIKE// torrential rivers, snow covered mountains //OR TO AND// ancient trap- loaded //HYPEN// dungeons.

Through //ON TO THROUGH// your struggle against ever- increasing //HYPHEN// dangers, //ADDED COMMA// not only is //ADDED IS// your skill in combat //REMOVED IS// important, //REMOVED// your cleverness and tactics //CHANGED, REMOVED, ETC// can also be the key to surviving, because you can end up as the next orcmeal very easily…

Therefore, //CHANGED, COMMA// you have to properly //TENSE// use your special abilities, //REMOVED// equip your character effectively //CHANGED// and be very //CHANGED// careful in the //EDIT// deep forests…

As you advance in your //CHANGED// long adventure, you will //ADDED// meet new allies and fight //ADDED// new enemies as you //CHANGED// discover your role //REMOVED// in this conflict…

-geo
MEB | MEB Mk3 | Horns | Jazz | CGuard | WGuard | Perc | DCP | 4E3: Ele | Chem | redeye | redeyeV2

[edited by - Avatar God on July 29, 2003 7:22:17 PM]

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On the same page, same rules apply.

Key Features: //MADE TWO WORDS

Innovative Gameplay: enjoy an exciting mixture of action, adventure and roleplaying

Epic Storyline : experience a //REMOVED - Makes no sense// dramatic saga in the Noghal-Universe

Thrilling Multiplayer: playable with up to 8 players simultaneously over LAN and the internet

Movielike Narration : enjoy in-game cut sequeces and great video sequences which further tell the story of this saga

Five Different Character Classes: //CAPS// feel the //REMOVED// difference between the Krunark Berserker, Human Assassin, Dwarven Cleric, Elven Archeress and //REMOVED// Xylanthen Mage

Clever Enemies : be threatened by enemies who run for reinforcements, set traps and encircle you

Brilliant Atmosphere : experience great sound and music background, weather effects and a wonderful day & night cycles

Impressive //TENSE// 3D //REMOVED HYPHEN// Graphics: enjoy the power and the effects of the proven Nebula-Engine (made by Radon Labs)


On all of these, make sure you keep all your spacing the same (Narration : versus Narration


-geo
MEB | MEB Mk3 | Horns | Jazz | CGuard | WGuard | Perc | DCP | 4E3: Ele | Chem | redeye | redeyeV2

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Character Classes:

This page will be updated in the future.No kidding. With what?

You can just take my word on the edits. I don't want to bold and explain them all...

The Krunark Beserker
http://www.harbinger-entertainment.de/noghal/krunark_berserker.htm

With the might of a polar bear, the speed of a leopard and the cunning of a fox, the Krunark Berserker combines all the raw power of animal nature. Coming from the vast wilderness of the snow-covered Krun-Drillinge, the Berserker is well prepared to deal with the dangers of an adventurous life.

The Krunark are a nomadic lizard culture who live in the high north of Noghal. Their tribes wander around to find new places to hunt and live, always living in balance with their natural environment. Each tribe is associated with one totemic animal that guards the Beserkers.

In combat, the Berserker is a real powerhouse of damage-dealing, but is also able to take a good deal of damage. He is capable of using several abilities to support his natural melee focus. He can jump into combat with blood-lust or use his mighty voice to bring new courage to his allies and intimidate his enemies; Not the least of his abilities is his mastery of two-weapon fighting.


Skilled in :

Axes & Polearms

Throwing Weapons

Nature Magic


Strength : 70
Dexterity: 40
Mental Power : 30
Constitution : 60
-> Hit Points : 220 //EDITED. Two capitalized words.



Special Abilities:
Blood-lust : Brings the character in a berserker-like frenzy, in which he can easily walk through hordes of enemies

Warcry : The character releases a powerful war cry that intimidates enemies and goad on allies to new strength

Jump Attack : Enables the character to make a jump to attack enemies from the air with a mighty blow

Two-Weapon Fighting (passive) : Enables the character an excellent usage of two one-handed melee weapons at the same time



[edited by - Avatar God on July 29, 2003 7:31:07 PM]

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this isn''t a translation issue that you asked for, but...

"clerics" generally refer to a religious figure (priest) or at least a healer-type. your "dwarven cleric" seems to be another fighter-type, so maybe you should name it something more appropriate.

maybe there is more to it that i missed, though.

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Human Assasin
http://www.harbinger-entertainment.de/noghal/human_assassin.htm

Stealthy, sneaky and ever hidden in the shadows, the Human Assassin is there where you don''t see her… mostly behind you with a sharp blade in her fingers. She comes from a large Human city on Grandaar, where she learned to trust only herself and her skills.

The Humans are a very mixed race made of many sub cultures. The biggest part of Human society lives in large cities ruled by the local regents, all of whom are obligated to the King of Malron. Within the Human society there are large differences in life quality and rights. This brought up many individuals who would not accept their pre-assigned roles and chose to go their own way. Such is the Human Assassin.

In combat, the Assassin focuses more on stealth and sneak tactics than other classes. She is trained in several abilities that allow her to hit good and to hit hard. So she can sneak straight through enemy guards and kill their leader with one skilled blow from her deadly blade. She also can lay traps and is masteress in evading enemy blows.

////////NOT DONE

Skilled in :

Daggers & Shortswords

Crossbows

Shadow Magic


Strength : 40
Dexterity: 70
Mental Power : 50
Constitution : 40
-> Hitpoints : 180



Special Abilities:

Sneaking : Enables the character to sneak undiscovered through enemy guards and then attacking them from the shadows

Lay Traps : The character lays a trap, which activates if an enemy comes near to it, and then damaging all nearby enemies

Sneak Attack : The character makes a hefty blow to an unprotected part of an enemy to hurt him very badly

Evading (passive) : Enables the character to evade enemy attacks to take no damage



-geo
MEB | MEB Mk3 | Horns | Jazz | CGuard | WGuard | Perc | DCP | 4E3: Ele | Chem | redeye | redeyeV2

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Hello,

thanks for your help.

We have improved the sidemenu and updated all founded text-errors.
There are also new screenshots available which show our current project stage.

Kind regards,
Squarefox

[edited by - Squarefox on July 30, 2003 2:40:59 PM]

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well... it seems that every page, which does''t extend beyond my screen, and cause me to scroll to see the content, displays a large white block. This varies in size - proportional to how much content is on the page (if you have 1/3 of the screen taken up buy the page, then 2/3 of the page is white). No actuall content is missing, just the bottom boarder doesn''t seem to be sticking to the bottom of the screen.

I am using Mozilla Firebird (rv 1.4b) and Mozilla (v1.3.1) running at 1280x1024 for a screen resolution. Both seemed to do this. I tried IE, and the page displayed just fine there.

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quote:
It reminds me a lot of Morrowind

Erm... In a good or bad way?
Dunno if you know that but most guys equate Noghal with [link]http://www.gothic2.de[/link].
[EDIT] How does the f****** link command work ? [/EDIT]
But maybe it's just the same

quote:
all founded text-errors

ARRGH

cu && thanx 4 feedback
TMonk
(H.E. standalone-programmer)


War is not about who is right, it's about who is left!

[edited by - TMonk on July 31, 2003 8:46:46 PM]

[edited by - TMonk on July 31, 2003 8:47:29 PM]

[edited by - TMonk on July 31, 2003 8:49:24 PM]

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Edit my post to see how the links work. It''s standard HTML code.

RHS Band

The target="_blank" opens the page in a new browser window.

Sorry I don''t have time to go through the rest of the pages, but summer band just started today, and im a drum major, so im more than a little busy.

out.

geo

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