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neogoukix

Alternate Universe

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Altenate Universe has been a story that I have been planning/ writing since Feb 2003. I hope to make it a game someday I just created a webpage with a little info on it. Some of the feedback I got from SNK-Capcom.com was a little weird to say the least. I stumbled across THIS site and found this forum. I have a few questions before I make some last minute changes so I need some REAL feedback from aspiring game developers and story developers. I don''t care what you have to say just as long as it can help me improve my story''s plot. And tell me if you think AU would be a better fighting game or RPG or fighting game or even both. "Alternate Universe": PRIDE, RESPECT, SKILL visit my webpage to see some slight character descriptions and feedback from SNK-Capcom.com. Also tell me if you want any updates!!! http://www.webspawner.com/users/auauthor/index.html

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Severe lack of disorganization. Redo the site, or at least have someone else redo it for you. Then, I might take another look.

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quote:
Original post by neurokaotix
quote:
Original post by orionx103
Severe lack of disorganization. Redo the site, or at least have someone else redo it for you. Then, I might take another look.


Classic way for gdnet to greet a new user.



It''s confusing. I don''t see why I or anyone else would want to bother with it if it''s not even in a half-decent format.

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quote:
Original post by orionx103
quote:
Original post by neurokaotix
quote:
Original post by orionx103
Severe lack of disorganization. Redo the site, or at least have someone else redo it for you. Then, I might take another look.


Classic way for gdnet to greet a new user.



It's confusing. I don't see why I or anyone else would want to bother with it if it's not even in a half-decent format.


How about to being nice to someone who has requested feedback?

Those aren't bugs, they're added features


[edited by - NicolasX on March 23, 2004 3:50:14 PM]

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I redid the page and it's a another site I changed around somethings and made it more readable.

http://www.build-a-webpage.com/health/alternateuniverse/index.html

[edited by - neogoukix on March 23, 2004 4:10:53 PM]

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quote:
Original post by neogoukix
I redid the page and it''s a another site I changed around somethings and made it more readable.

http://www.build-a-webpage.com/alternateuniverse/index.html


i get a page not found (404) error when trying to go to that link.

anyway, my sense form the original posting was that you need more background about this alternate universe. what''s it like? what''s it based on? i got that it has something to do with elemental powers and that it owns you in the sense that you must protect it if you are asked to. but what is it actually like? what does it look like? what is the basis for the elemental powers in that universe? why is it there? is it truly just an alternate universe, or is it a meta-universe in which your actions effect our universe?

basically you need a lot more background story for the plot to make sense.

-me

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It seems like a disorganized half (or maybe only a third) of a game concept to me. Which is not to say that you can''t make something interesting out of it, it just needs more ideas and more work. Ask yourself: What would I experience as I booted this game up and started to play? Would it be fun? What would make it more fun?

A side note - your characters choose their elemental attributes? That''s wierd. Usually in elemental attribute systems the person or creature''s element is determined by birth or personality, and the person can only effectively study whatever element they have an affinity for.

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Actions in the Alternate Universe do effect the normal universe. But it only depends on if you exist in the AU certain people that exist in the Normal Universe(NU) don''t exist in the AU. I did that so it would''nt be a rip-off of THE ONE. That''s what makes it a dream world to Kris for instance (who is the main traveler) Anna does not exist in the AU becuase Alternate Kris has no need for her becuase he''s the schools top basketball player and has a girlfriend Terry Anh. Brandi does''t exist in the AU becuase Daraun(Kris''s best friend never left for a year in the AU) therefore to Kris Alternate Brandi does not exist. I guess that''s the legal limbo explanationation of the AU.

The link was messed up becuase when you were most likey viewing the post I was editing the link mistake I made, Sorry

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coolio about the link. i still maintain that you need a lot more background work. in order to make this a good story for a game you will need significant work on your details. for instance, currently your story is about 1/2 page long. though making page length requirements is always a bad idea, i'd say that if you can expand your ideas into at least a 5 page story you'll start to have sufficient detail to actually make this a game. The only reason i say 5 pages is that I find 5 pages to be a good length for me to actually start revealing to myself the things that I will need to expand upon to actually make this an engaging story.

-me

[edited by - Palidine on March 23, 2004 4:41:22 PM]

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